Wednesday, May 05, 2010

TNR Report

We rode. It was wet. And cold. Cold we can deal with. But wet and cold is a combination that the FGBC does not endorse. So the ride was a short one. Upon arrival at the klubhaus, we did not receive the hero's welcome we felt we deserved. On the contrary, we were cussed out by some drunk guy on the patio who objected to the fact that we rode our bikes in the rain. We kept our mouths shut. The gloves stayed on. If this is what the early crowd is like, we'll stick to our regular schedule from now on.

Once we got settled, we entertained ourselves for at least an hour rehearsing stories of the President's misfortunes. We also considered the legal intricacies of the poosher's recent vehicular encounter. The FGBC's legal counsel seemed to think he might have a chance. "One person's wrong does not make another's right," is how he put it. And then he went on to spew a bunch of big multisyllabic terms like "contributory negligence." We also spent some time weighing the relative merits of Uma Thurman's curiously sexy nose against Sandra Bullock's rather more straight ahead beauty. Brad Pitt's torso--especially in its Fight Club incarnation--came up for serious consideration as well. We were informed that we are behind a group of cricket players called The Taverners in The Book. They currently have us beat by about $200. But then we were also informed that they are there three times a week. So really, we're kicking their buts. That is appropriate. We also thought it appropriate that we are involved in a competition with a team of crickiteers. Slo-pitch and hockey are so 1990's. We only wish we had known about this earlier.

But the biggest news of the evening is that we have a Challenge. Actually, we have two.

One will more or less follow the classic formula. Except the scoring will be month by month. The winning team for each month scores one point. There are eight months. Which means it could end up in a tie. That would be super sweet. And it would no doubt make for a thrilling windup event. After April, the FGBC leads 1-0.

The other Challenge will be slightly different. It will employ the same basic scoring system as last year. But the makeup of teams has changed radically. Echoing the Apostle Paul, there is no longer FGBC nor RRR for this one. Rather, it's all one big happy pool of riders. Until it gets divided up again into visciously warring factions. Hearkening back to the playgrounds of our youth, we have appointed two captains: Brad the Impaler and President Penner. They will take turns choosing riders until there is nobody left. The beauty of this is that the teams will have the same number of riders. Actually, the beauty will be in watching the draft take place. And it will all happen live on the FGBC blog, starting sometime in the next day or two. The Impaler won the coin toss. He will choose first.

Everyone seemed happy with this decision. It didn't even have to go to a vote. The decision was unanimously approved. And as soon as it was, The Impaler and the Secretary immediately went after each other with the trash talk. This will be especially fun to watch if they should happen to end up on the same team.


The tunes were dialed in. Until about 12:30 am, when they got dialed out. KK left his credit card behind. We took care of it. Anybody need to order anything?

14 comments:

the secretary said...

The trashing had little to do with biking however... He was getting fiesty because I had proceeded to tell him how overrated Van Morrisson is. I suppose he is decent easy listening for the older set.

penner said...

Am formally stating my wish to abdicate as "captain" for anything. As the FGBC figurehead president (feels more like a monachary to me) my duties overwhelm me at the present time. Those duties of course being the aquistion of the beer for the upcoming event.

I assume the the self governing collective will no doubt reject such an application anyway.
Therefore as Captain, I wager that loosing team supply the beer, and dogs, condiments etc. for the fall windup (if there is one). Winning team supply the venue. I will also suggest that said event be "open" in terms of family.

are we on brad?

The Dark Lord said...

You know us so well. That is why you are the president. Get started with your research. The draft will commence shortly. If you will recall the playground, as soon as you've made your first pick you will no doubt have all kinds of assistance in making the rest. Some it will be helpful, some not so helpful.

penner said...

how about reverse pick!!

I pick brad team and he picks mine.

The Dark Lord said...

You and Brad can sort that out.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to kill the thread, but one of my coworkers at MEC would like a hand from one of the FGBCers... he is planning MEC's Bike Fest that will happen somewhere in Winnipeg but during the Big Idea. He wants one of us to lead a local group ride of some kind. I think it's a great idea. So far, I've thought of Mr. President and Cousin Adam being around town, or at least not on the Van-Win trip. Anyone interested? Email me if you want a contact for Jared. He's a dude. From Altona.

thomasgepp at gmail dot calm

Brad the Impaler said...

I think we should pick our teams live and in person at the Klubhaus next Tuesday evening. Way more fun.

The Dark Lord said...

Of course, that means the President would have to show up.

Brad the Impaler said...

Of course.

penner said...

fine

mike said...

The "draft" should include much draft- maybe one per pick. That would be the most fun of all. The president and the impaler "drafting" it out.

mike said...

wv; dommo

Brad the Impaler said...

The President could drink me under the table. I'm a lightweight.

Duece said...

Interesting solution to the uneven numbers problem. I'm kind of curious, who is actually on the club rosters and eligible for the draft?

It might be interesting to wager on who the first round picks will be.