Monday, August 23, 2010

Dept. of Alternate Appellation, or A Grass Track Preview


They called him “Der Dicke.” But his given name was Huebner. Michael Huebner. Back in the day, he was a crack racer on the velodrome circuit. There are a handful of world championship medals hanging on a nail in his wall thanks, in part, to some of the beefiest thighs ever to grace a bicycle. Hence the nickname. One might surmise that it arises out of the world of Uli Kunkel and his penchant for nihilistically tinged erotica. In reality, however, it is a reference to those tree trunk sized legs of his—“dicke” meaning thick or fat in Cherman.

Watch Der Dicke (or Hoobner, as Phil calls him) against Claudio Golinelli in the 1990 match sprint world championships:




Here he is today:




This Tuesday another Hoobner will take to the oval track. He’s more than 10 years to the junior of the mighty East German. And his thighs are perhaps slightly less beefy. Call him the Little Dicke, then, or Der Kleine Dicke if you prefer Deutsch. But he’s gunning to become a champion on the track all the same. His goal: to win the 2010 Manitoba Grass Track Championship.

Do you have what it takes to go head-to-head with the Little Dicke? Show up Tuesday at Sir William Osler School to prove it.

3 comments:

Brad the Impaler said...

This whole post is a lob that I am going to let pass. Way too easy. Sorry Johnny S.

Altona Bicycle Enthusiast Society said...

I'm still going to laugh. JS

dr.divisive said...

I don't know what you guys are talking about.