Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Et tu, Sella?

First Ricco. Now Sella. There was no test for CERA back in May, but they've got one now. And they've sure been keeping the lab rats hopping with it as of late.

These guys were two of the big stars of this year's Giro. Since they were clearly doped to the gills in May, one is naturally inclined to wonder what the results would be if their rides were struck from the record books. You will recall that rule #2 of the 2008 FGBC Giro Pool states "Any rider who is disqualified from the race forfeits all his points." Ricco and Sella have not been disqualified, of course. And they probably won't be. But that's only because there was no test a couple of months ago. Kinda like 1999 when a certain Mr. Armstrong is said to have gone on a little EPO binge of his own. But that can't stop us from just assuming for the moment that Ricco and Sella were turfed. See below for how things would look. Not so fast, Arlene. Arlene and Rachel both had Ricco and his 1558 points, while Andy, Ian, and Paddy had Sella for 1280 points. James would wind up the big winner. And Laura would climb up onto the podium:

Grande Latte Enema (James) 3456
Listen Up Maggots (Arlene) 2826
Stomach Full of Xanax (Laura) 2724
A Predator Posing as a House Pet (Andy) 2682
Ikea Nesting Instinct (Tomek) 2463
I'd Fight Gandhi (Matt) 2363
The Most Beautiful Day of Raymond K. Hessel's Life (Charlene) 2249
Controlled Destruction (Ian) 2110
I'll Take the Parasites (Chris) 2084
Gasoline and Frozen Orange Juice (Paddy) 2056
Grade School Girlfriend (Adam) 1979
I am Jack's Smirking Revenge (Brad) 1933
Chloe's Libido (Johnny M) 1910
Skinny Guys Fight 'Til They're Burger (Jonny B) 1755
You Are Not a Beautiful or Unique Snowflake (Dallas) 1742
His Name Was Robert Paulson (Bill) 1656
B Times C Equals X (Hal) 1641
A House Full of Condiments and No Food … How Embarrasing (Darryl) 1407
Remaining Men Together (David S) 1402
Near Life Experience (LeAnn) 1325
Tonight We Make Soap (Rachel) 1256
You Met Me at a Very Strange Time in My Life (Jonny G) 1156
First You Have to Give Up (Craig) 1070
Project Mayhem (Donna) 1069
Chemical Burn (Cam) 693

No comments: