Sunday, June 30, 2013

Tour de Spreadsheet

In the end we made it to 58 teams. So it'll take something special to win it. See all the players listed below.

One of the nice things about the new system is that it makes it much easier to share all the teams. Check out the competition and see just how many people picked Froome, Cavendish, and Sagan here.

The Vicarious Racing HQ is busy preparing the spreadsheet. That should be done by the end of the day. Thanks for your patience.

Friday, June 28, 2013

TdF Pool Entry Watch

Update [9:12 pm] - And the Secretary brings us to 44. With help from Jay, Donna, Auckland, Ian, and Randy. Only 10 hours or so left to scour the interwebs for sleepers.

Update [4:13 pm] - We have reached 38. Marc, Miriam, Jonah, Marcus, Dallas, and Leonie have submitted teams.

Update [1:04 pm] - We are up to 32 teams now. The Hipster, Jason, Paul K, Cousin Thomas, Charlene, and KK are in.

As of 10am this morning, there are 26 teams in the pool. There are also a good number of vicarious racing rookies. Welcome to you all. We will try to be nice. But being nice is hard. Almost as hard as math.

There is still lots of room. For those who are motivated by peer pressure, here's a list of the teams so far. Check back throughout the day to see who else has joined.

Matt H
Anna S
David S
Karel B
Peter D
Chris H
Chris N
Jonathan L-T
Jonny B
Graham W
Joe H
Stephen G
Chris D
Chris O
Ali A
Jonny G
Ben B
Terry M
Chris A
Paul S
Vic P
Catherine S
Brad E
Charlie C
Nate B
Jordan L
Mark R
Jason S
Paul K
Cousin Thomas
Charlene G
Marc L
Miriam H
Jonah H
Marcus H
Dallas S
Leonie T
Jay S
Donna H
Auckland L
Ian H
Randy H
Darryl N-B
Merle H
Adam B
Todd M
Andy L
Val L
Jenna S
Daniel E
Vanessa P
Dan L
Mike G
Andrea T
Olli H
Rachel H

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

TdF Pool is Open

The pool is open for business. Good luck and have fun!

Please note that there are a few small changes this year.

First, teams will be submitted a bit differently. Don't worry, it's easy. And it will make all of us a lot happier.

Second, instead of the usual pattern of picking one Stage Hunter and two Wild Cards, we'll be picking two Stage Hunters and one Wild Card. It just seems to make more sense.

The Rules

1. Choose a team of nine riders from the Rider List based on the criteria listed below. Submit your teams by using this form. Your team must be submitted before the race starts on Saturday.

2. Entry into the pool is free. There are no prizes. Other than bragging rights and a sense of smug satisfaction.

3. The pool is open to anyone. Feel free to invite others to participate.

4. Points will be awarded based on the scoring system below (scroll down).

5. Any rider who is disqualified from the race for a doping violation forfeits all his points. If he survives the race and gets busted later, you get to keep your points.

6. Trash-talking and other forms of vicarious racing banter is strongly encouraged. This is best accomplished via The Twitter. We are @Dark_Red_Racing

Picking Riders

1. Pick two GC riders. Their combined values (the numbers to the right of the riders name) must add up to five or more.

2. Pick two sprinters. Combined values must add up to five or more.

3. TT Men and Climbers - Pick one rider from each list. Their combined values must add up to five or more.

4. Pick any two Stage Hunters. No math involved in this one. Yay!

5. Pick one Wild Card. Again, no math.


Individual stages: 150 125 100 90 80 75 70 65 60 55 50 45 40 35 30 25 20 15 10 5

Final GC: 600 500 400 350 300 275 250 225 200 175 150 135 120 105 90 75 60 45 30 15

Final Points Classification: 120 90 60 40 20

Final Mountains and Classification: 120 90 60 40 20

Final Young Rider Classification: 120 90 60 40 20

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tour de France Pool

It's coming soon. Very soon. As soon as Garmin confirms their roster.

Waiting is hard.

Sunday, June 23, 2013


It goes down this Wednesday at BHP. Good times are guaranteed.

In case you've forgotten how it works, all your questions will be answered here.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

TNR Report: Rumble at the Dump

They call him the Energizer Bunny. I think it's because of his predilection for dressing up in furry pink outfits. But it may also have something to do with his seemingly limitless energy. Either way, he put on quite a show at the Dump last night, winning six consecutive head-to-head drag races up the hill on his way to claiming the overall title: Drag Queen of the Dump.

Juan Eppstein has no quit in him either. And he also put on a show of his own. First, by demonstrating the rather awkward way he gets himself psyched up for racing.

And then for his equally interesting post-race purging ritual.

Jonny G also did well. He was the overall Drag Queen the last time we did this. And he proved it was no fluke by climbing his way into the final race against The Bunny this time around. But the three consecutive races he had to win to get there took quite toll, especially since The Bunny got to rest during that whole stretch. So the grand finale wasn't quite the nail biting battle we were expecting. But still, the VP Good Times gave the night's festivities two thumbs up, even if he had to lie down on the tarmac to do so.

As for the rest of us, let's just say that hill climbing is hard. Way harder than it looks on TV.

Friday, June 07, 2013

TNR Report - Welcome to Hoogerland

While it may not be Tuesday, or even Thursday for that matter, Friday is as good a day as any to reflect on the grand event that was the TNR. It was on the NTBFW* decree of both the Impaler and the Dark Lord that we pedalled ourselves directly to the Klubhaus for an urgent debrief of the arguably grander event that was the Gran Fondo Catskills with none other than the Honorary Captain.
This was good news for The Hipster who was portaging some rather delicate cargo.
What occurred in the Catskills was nothing short of epic, with not one, but TWO near death experiences for the DFL. The first was a near miss of being completely pancaked by a two car collision mere feet away from the group as they stood on the shoulder of the road. Clearly hillbillies are not accustomed to the sight of men in spandex.

The next day, perhaps in an attempt to win the attention of the Honourary Captain, His Lordliness did his best Johnny Hoogerland impression and rode into a fence (of the non-barbed variety) whilst avoiding a crash that happened right in front of him fifteen kilometres into the ride.
As you can imagine, the remaining one hundred and forty-five kilometres were powered by enough rage to fuel every illegal moonshine still in the Catskills.

Thankfully the Power of the Dark Side prevailed, and, like the hipsters eggs, the DFL returned home safely.

Carnage photo and catchy headline courtesy of Lesli Cohen, Editor in Chief of

*Not To Be fucked With