Thursday, May 31, 2012

TNR Report

We rode a lot on the weekend. Some of us almost as much as 50 kms. So it only made sense to keep the ride short and head straight to the klubhaus, whereupon the Official Spring Ride Debrief commenced.

The consensus is as follows:
  • Camping was the right decision.
  • Breakfast at A&W is a key ingredient in the weekend. Breakfast followed by a Teen Burger is even more key.
  • The new trail is better than Ingolf. We will be back. Often.
  • Mike G. is alright.
  • Some are more adept at using a leaf blower than others.
  • JP's jawbone is magnificent. We are happy he didn't break it. He will henceforth be known as Kiefer.
  • The Hipster's spontaneous (and perhaps unintended) mid-ride tribute to the Honorary Captain was very fitting.
  • If we didn't already have a VP Style, Cousin Thomas would be a strong candidate.
  • We still love the President. A lot.
  • That thing with the Hipster sleeping by the fire was pretty funny.
  • The absence of a deesco was a big disappointment.
  • As was the absence of the Cricket. It won't happen again. He bought a car.
  • Olli's commitment to the Dark Side needs some work.
  • Removing bolts from your rotors to lose some weight is just dumb. Very dumb.
  • Planning races on the weekend of the Spring Ride is a huge problem. Especially when it means Jonny G and I need to wake up before 7am on Spring Ride Sunday to tend to the needs of the Junior Dark Side. We trust that the loyal servants of the MCA will make sure this never happens again.
  • We are exactly what we are.
The music was interesting. A little bit disco, a little bit rock and roll.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


It's the annual Spring Ride Debrief. We will revisit the highs, the lows, and likely a few points in between. Maybe we will even figure out what really happened to the Hipster when he fell asleep at the camp fire.

The balance in The Book currently stands at zero. So we have to get that started as well. Spring Ride 2013 is only 359 days away.

9:30 pm at my place.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Spring Ride 2012 Report

For the tenth year in a row, it was awesome. Very, very awesome. We went back to camping and found a new trail. Here are a few photos to tide us over while we await the Secretary's annual movie.

So much sweetness.

It didn't take long until something was Eff'd. Specifically, Gianni's wheel.
Fortunately, rear rotors are vastly over-rated.

Stupid bridges.

Back at the campsite, it took some time to get the fire going.
Lucky for us, Mike was prepared.

Cousin Thomas, as usual, got all dressed up for the occasion.

The fire's hypnotic powers were hard to resist.

Especially for the Hipster.

So we tried a little experiment.

How much stuff can you pile on a Hipster before he wakes up?

The answer, apparently, is quite a lot.

Thanks to JP's iPhone, we were able to watch Ryder kick ass at the Giro.

Saturday's ride was a new one. It started out with some cx practice.

The trail featured plenty of open rock.

And souvenirs.

He may ride with the Heaviest Bike Club in the World, but Johnny S still has it.

There may have been a few breaks.

Post-ride recovery program.

There were a few minor incidents. JP's proved to be the most photogenic.

Giro Pool Wrap-Up

In the end, it was very, very close. Almost as close as the real Giro. I beat King Andy by just 17 points. But it took until the last of the special classification points was awarded to wrest the lead from his grip. Thank-you Sergio Henao.

Jonny B held on to the final podium spot, with Troy and Miriam rounding out the top five.

Full results and standings here.

Thanks for playing everyone. That was fun. We will do it again in just over a month for the 2012 FGBC Tour de France Pool.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Thursday, May 24, 2012

32 Points

That's all that separates the top three contenders in the 2012 FGBC Giro d'Italia Pool. It looks like this will go right down to the wire.

Anna bagged 235 points to win today's stage. KK and Jonny B tied for second with 215 points each.

I've reclaimed the vicarious maglia rosa from King Andy, who dropped down to third place. He is 32 points off of the overall lead, but only 1 point behind Jonny B.

The bottom end of the standings is equally close. The J-Train is now just 5 point behind Lyle and 8 points behind Chris D.

Full results and overall standings here.

Please note that the results for the final three stages will be delayed until after the weekend. There is a little thing called the Spring Ride that needs our attention.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Official Spring Ride Discussion Thread

We are camping at the Falcon Lake Lakeshore Campground. I believe we are in bay 5.

Here's the plan, as far as there is one:

We'll meet at the Deacon's Corner A&W for breakfast at 9:30. From there, we'll head to Falcon Trails for a brief ride while we wait for others to show up.

The Blue Highway ride will depart from the campground at around 2:30 pm.

After that we will just kind of wing it.

Use the comments to sort out anything that still needs sorting out--rides, accommodations, food, etc. Or maybe just to share your excitement.

TNR Report

The Big Frame came through. So much so that Juan Eppstein can no longer be considered the undisputed Alpha Dog of the Dogfest. He did show up for a bit, though, and seemed to be taking notes.

Those chips were so good.

The crowd thinned significantly when it started to rain shortly after midnight. The rest of us relocated to the shed.

There was some talk about the Spring Ride too. But that deserves a post of its own.

Stages 16 & 17

Patrick won stage 16. And Jay was victorious on stage 17. King Andy has reclaimed the overall lead. With both Rodriguez and Hesjedal on his team, his chances for overall victory look pretty strong.

Full results and standings here.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


It looks like the annual Spring Dogfest is off. Juan Eppstein is busy. But if anyone else feels compelled to make it happen, please drop a comment below. If there is no dogfest, we still have a meeting at the klubhaus to sort out the Spring Ride details. But we should probably do a little riding first.

9:30 pm at my place.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Hot Potato

The vicarious maglia rosa is changing hands as frequently as the real one. Except our game of hot potato with the leader's jersey now has three players, not just two like there are in the real race. I won today's stage to grab the overall that Jonny B took from King Andy yesterday. Henao, Kreuziger, Hesjedal, Cataldo, and Moreno combined to give me 255 points. Troy was second on the stage with 225 points. Andy had 210 points to reach the final step of the podium.

The King remains in second overall. He's just 27 points behind me. Jonny B is only another 39 points behind Andy. So it's all very close still. Expect more lead changes as we enter the final week.

Full results and overall standings here.

Monday early morning ride?

Anyone interested in an early ride tomorrow? I've got to be back home by 10am, so I'm thinking a 7:30/8am start or so. Maybe ride out past headingley or something. Post a comment if you want to ride.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Stages 12-14

Ryder is back in pink! How sweet is that?

Ali and Eryn shared the win on stage 12. Chris O won stage 13. And Patrick claimed the win in the first big mountain stage. He had 320 points, thanks to De Marchi, Hesjedal, Tiralongo, and Frank Schleck. Eryn finished second, in part because she's the only one to have picked today's real stage winner, Andrey Amador. He combined with Hesjedal and Schleck to give her 290 points. Jonny G rounded out the podium with 270 points.

In the overall race, King Andy snatched the lead from Jonny B on stage 12. But Jonny B snatched it back today. He now leads the overall standings with 2114 points. Andy is in second overall, just 41 points back. And I am in third place, another 18 points behind Andy.

But the biggest development in the overall standings has to do with Patrick, whose team was unjustly robbed of the points that Cavendish received for the first 10 stages. And all because of a spelling mistake on the scoresheet. Sorry about that, Patrick! It is fixed now. Retroactive points from Cavendish combined with the 320 from today's stage win vault Patrick all the way up to 4th overall. He is 87 points back of the final podium spot.

Full results and overall standings here.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Thursday Anticipation

It's just over one week away now. That is exciting. But we may have to start thinking about alternate locations. There's no trail riding in the Whiteshell right now. Thoughts?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

TNR Report

It was a busy night. A meeting, a dogfest, and then a second meeting at the klubhaus. That meeting to dogfest ratio seems wrong. But then again, the difference between a meeting and a dogfest is not always easy to discern. We are exactly what we are.

In any case, there is a lot going on these days. But the most important thing is that the Spring Ride countdown is down to single digits. That means next Tuesday is the annual Spring Dogfest and Deesco Show at Juan Eppstein's. Life is good.

How a bicycle is made - 1945

Stages 10 & 11

Andy won stage 10 thanks to J-Rod, Hesjedal, and Cataldo. Jonny B used his wildcards, Meier and Vaitkus, to help him win stage 11 and pull on the vicarious maglia rosa. But he and Andy are separated by just one point.

Full results and overall standings here.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


It will be a little different today. Some of us will be at Bill's for a meeting about the 24 Hours of Falcon Ridge. The rest of you can join us there (48 Aubrey) at around 9:30. After a round of pre-ride Darkness, we will ride around some and head to the klubhaus for the night cap.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Stage 9

Pippo Pozzato checked in on his beautiful curly locks at 70 kmh while heading around a sharp left hand bend. That did not work out so well. He crashed and took down Goss and the subsequent chain of dominoes took down Cavendish and a number of other very fast finishers. So the expected fireworks kind of fizzled. But at least Pippo's hair looked good.

That was good news for Gianni. He swooped in for the stage win thanks to the efforts of Ventoso and Hesjedal. Ventoso's win and Hesjedal's 7th place finish netted the Grass Track Czar 220 points. Halberto finished second, with 195 points, and vaulted back onto the podium. And Eryn managed 115 points to take the final podium spot.

Andy still stands atop the overall staqndings. He leads Hal by 82 points. Jonny B is in third overall, 37 points behind Hal.

Full results and overall standings here.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Stage 8

Ryder is still in pink. But the four point separation among the top four teams in the 2012 FGBC Giro d'Italia Pool is a thing of the past. King Andy won today's stage thanks to the 230 points he received from Rodriguez, Cataldo, and Hesjedal. Ian, Jonny G, Miriam, and Randy finished in a four-way tie for second place. They had 200 points apiece.

Andy now leads the overall race with 1318 points. Jonny B has moved into second. He is 84 points back of the King. Miriam is in third overall, another 67 points back.

Full results and overall standings here.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Tour de 'Stache Ride Report

A few of us spent the better part of the day exploring a new route for a potential FGBC throw-down race slated for the coming weeks. It was windy. Very very windy. Thankfully I was riding with some good company who were courteous enough to let me hide behind them as we headed past the white horse and down through Pigeon Lake. Never before have I been so happy to stare at a pair of mens backsides. But I digress.. The route is excellent. Other than double flatting, it couldn't have been much better.

The ride really started at the perimeter where we jumped onto the old number one highway, watching cyclists absolutely blast past us in the opposite direction while we struggled to even maintain 24km/h. One lady was even singing as she rode past. After stopping in Saint Francois Xavier to load up on salty nuts, Jonny caught sight of some bunny-hopable roadkill up ahead.

It turned out to be a black cat, but with a tough ride ahead, superstition set in and it was decided it probably wasn't a good idea to test our luck. We rode past.

It was ok though because the VP of Good Times got his fun on this sweet jump he spotted on the side of the road.

There is a really nice bridge at the halfway point.

Shortly after I had my second flat on the gravel leg. The gravel is actually really smooth and packed down for the most part. All three of us were happy to be on 23s.

Then it was a massive tailwind all the way home. Good times. This will be a good race.


Holy Crap! Ryder Hesjedal is in pink. Does it get any better than that? Well, maybe it does. Because in the 2012 FGBC Giro d'Italia Pool, we have the top four teams separated by just four points.

Brad and Patrick were forced to share the win. They both wound up with 330 points. That is because they both have Tiralongo, Schleck, and Hesjedal on their teams. Jonny G finished third, with 320 points on the day.

But the big news is in the overall race, where two vicarious racing legends have come to the front of the pack. King Andy has taken over the lead from Jason, who did not have a very good day. Andy now has 1088 points. But hot on his heels is Chris O. Chris is just one point behind Andy. And Hal is just one point behind Chris. Jonny B is right there too. He is just four points off the overall lead. Jason may have dropped back to fifth. But he's really not that far behind. He trails Andy by 37 points. That is all very, very close.

This is why it was really important that we found those individual results for the TTT.

Full results and overall standings here.

Friday, May 11, 2012

DarkCross, as seen from space

Thanks to KK for the tip.

Holy Halberto!

The cagey librarian rolled the dice and placed a couple of his riders in the day's big breakaway. And his gamble paid off perfectly. He got the stage win from Miguel Rubiano. Adriano Malori grabbed a second place finish and also got to put on the maglia rosa at the end of the day. Halberto also got points from Pozzato, Felline, and Hesjedal. It all added up to 405 points and a very big stage win. He moves up all the way from 21st place to 3rd overall. Not a bad day at the office. Joe finished a distant second. He had 230 points. And Val rounded out the podium with a 155 point day.

Jason continues to lead the overall race. But it's getting tighter at the top. King Andy is just 38 points back now. And Halberto is only another 12 points back of him.

Full results and overall standings here.

More medium sized mountains tomorrow.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Wednesday Night Darkness

(Photo via KB)
Same time for JP and Graham: 59:42 for three laps. Vanessa was rocking the Sweetest Jersey in the World too, and duking it out in what looks like a pretty tight womens sport field.

Well done, boys and girls!

Good work by KB and Co.

Full results here.

Stages 4-5

KK won the vicarious TTT, finishing ahead of me and Chris D. Chris O won today's stage. He had 275 points. Anna, Jonny B, and KK tied for second with 240 points apiece.

Jason continues to lead the overall race. He has 931 points. King Andy has moved into second overall and sits 118 points back of Jason. And KK is not standing on the third podium step. What's that? A butter belt on the podium? KK is just 29 points behind Andy. But Anna is just 2 points behind KK. In fact, there is long line of people looking to knock KK off of the podium. From third to ninth place, the gap is just 75 points.

Full results and overall standings here.

Tomorrow it gets a bit bumpier. Look for the stage hunters to come out and play.

TNR Report

We mostly just wanted to see if the Secretary still reads the blog. Apparently he does.

While at VJ's, we also had a pleasant conversation with a genial and rather portly fellow about his passion for fabricating alternative bikes. He was pretty excited about a wooden trike he had recently seen. He had not heard about Graeme Obree's latest project. But he had heard of blue tooth shifting and braking systems. He'd just come from a Linux convention. He ordered a double VJ special. With fries. Awesome.

On the way over to VJ's we, stumbled upon some people who were making magic with lights.

The Impaler was not able to attend. But he did participate via a Facebook conversation with the Secretary.

At the klubhaus, the Big Frame unveiled his latest handiwork. It also completed the prizing from Adam's OFG event. New plans were also released for a much larger version of the cowbell that would also double as a podium goblet.

There was some talk about the Spring Ride. I can't remember the details.

I do, however, remember that the tunes were dialed in. And we finally solved the mystery of why the tunes are better some days than others. I forget her name. But she is the older one with the long hair, whose bad side you would not want to be on. We are not sure how we feel about this new development. There was something nice about the air of uncertainty. We have not determined whether there is a similar causal relationship to the quality of the Darkness. But considering that it was off, our guess is that there is not.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Giro Pool: Help Please

Can anyone find individual results for today's TTT? They used to publish those, but I can't find them. Riders who don't finish with the team don't get points. So we kind of need those results. Otherwise, I suppose we just assume that all riders finished with their teams. But that seems kind of lame. Especially since we know they didn't. For example, Alex Rasmussen was dropped. Otherwise he'd be in pink tonight.

Please post a link below if you find individual results.

Saturday Morning Ride

Apparently, there is some interest in re-riding Adam's gravel race from last weekend.  Except this time we won't be racing and we'll start at 9:00 am at Mark's place,  9:30 at Mountain Coffee on Henderson.
New shit has come to light, as we say.  A new route has been proposed - tour de 'Stache. Check it out here. We will still be leaving Mark's at 9 a.m. and 9:15 at Omand's Park.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Stages 1-3

The Giro Pool is finally set up and ready to go. Thanks for being patient, boys and girls. The FGBC's Dept. of Low Stakes Gambling is a busy place these days.

We have 35 teams in the pool, including submissions from a couple of vicarious racing rookies. Welcome to Todd from Calgary and Jonathan from Harrisonburg, VA. And welcome back to Jonny B, Sr. We missed you.

Take a look at the teams here if you want to size up the competition. It might not be a bad idea to check your team for any mistakes. It happens.

The winners of the first three stages were as follows:

Stage 1 - Jason
Stage 2 - Miriam
Stage 3 - Jason

Jason has jumped out to an early lead in the overall race. He already has 655 points. Miriam is in second overall, with 525 points. And to everyone's surprise, King Andy is in third overall. He has 455 points.

Jonny G is holding the vicarious lanterne rouge. He has 150 points, 5 points less than the J-Train.

Full results and overall standings here.

Today is a rest day. We'll be back at it again tomorrow.

Good luck everyone!


Does anybody else have a hankering for a VJ Special?

9:30 pm at my place.

MennoCross, as seen on Google Maps

Thanks to Rickshaw Rick Unger for the heads up.

Monday, May 07, 2012

One Foot in the Grave' Video Report

A hastily collected retrospective of a fine day. The fire was reluctantly abandoned just after 3:00am.

One Foot in the Gravé

A huge thanks to Cousin Adam and the Secretary for a very sweet day. The route was well thought out. The race was awesome. And the after-party was even awesomer. The only thing missing was a proper name for the event. Unless anyone comes up with anything better, it will hencefore the known as One Foot in the Gravé, or OFG for short.

The pre-race banter and technology exhibition was extended while the President made a last-minute decision to pull the Hand-Me-Down Colnago off the hooks for the first time in a year.

Jonny G had the ride of the day. He flatted on the first of the secteurs gravé, less than 10 km into the race, and rode the final 100 km all by himself. Unlike some others, he did not take the Escape Route. Charlene and Colin receive an honorable mention for their A & W fueled ride.

As for the rest of the race, it went kind of like this:

First, Brad KK'd himself, putting in a strong pull and then failing to rejoin the group. Lyle dropped back to ride with him. Then Adam dropped off the pace. Daniel and Craig came unhinged shortly after. That left three of us with over 80 km to go. It seemed unwise. So we waited for Daniel and Craig to catch back up. We stayed together  for the next 40 km or so. Daniel flatted at the Bridge to Nowhere. Craig dropped off the pace somewhere between Selkirk and Lockport. And then KK KK'd himself about 5 km from the finish line. That left JP and me to duke it out for the win. JP launched the first attack, thinking the finish was just around the corner. It wasn't. He went again with about 500 meters to go. It proved to be a very nice lead-out.

The dogfest was lovely.

There was a really big fire.

A Cohiba.

And some very sticky fingers.

Friday, May 04, 2012

Important Giro Pool Update

I am not changing the rider list that was posted yesterday, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a look at the startlist for tomorrow's prologue to confirm that your riders are indeed taking to the start. It would not be surprising if there were some last minute changes. There usually are. But you're on your own to catch that.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Thursday Anticipation

And now for something completely awesome.

Saturday, May 5 at 1:30pm.  Start/Finish/Afterparty at 129 Irving Place.

Everything you need to know (and more) is here.

Giro Pool: Open for Business

Another hastily assembled list of riders has been thrown together. So have at it, boys and girls.

How does it work? It is all very simple. Pick a team of nine riders from this list. I cannot guarantee that everyone listed there will, in fact, take to the start line. But this is as close as possible to a confirmed rider list.

Your team must be composed as follows:

2 GC men - values must add up to 5 or more
2 sprinters - values must add up to 5 or more
1 climber and 1 TT man - combined values must add up to 5 or more
1 stage hunter
2 wild cards

For the scoring system and the rest of the rules, go here.

Submit your team here by 9am Saturday morning.

Entry into the pool is free and open to anyone. There may or may not be a prize at the end. Feel free to invite others.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Giro Pool: Coming Soon

The 2012 FGBC Giro d'Italia Pool will be open for business very soon. Maybe as early as tonight. But sometime on Thursday for sure.

If you aren't already very excited, maybe this promo video will help:

TNR Report

Ryan showed up! First time in over a year. We could hardly believe our eyes.

KK suggested we head to the Exchange to do some spirally climbing. So we did. But before we got there, KK came crashing down courtesy of some wet wood and screwed up his chain guide. This left him unable to climb the spiral. But the rest of us made it to the top.

JP introduced us to a new parking garage nearby. And then he took off for home as the rest of us headed to the klubhaus. On the way, we passed by a rather ominous looking scene on Assiniboine Ave. 10 police cars and a very still body underneath a white sheet being loaded into an ambulance. They did not seem in a hurry.

At the klubhaus, there was a problem with the Darkness. Specifically the line to the tap was even more screwed than KK's chain guide. Fortunately, they had bottles.

Cousin Adam gave us a run-down of what to expect on Saturday. But the more interesting conversation involved a vigorous debate about the relative merits of Scrapper and Bulldog. It seems the klub is divided on that one. Adam also reminded us to RSVP. So if you are planning to be there, make sure to let him know.

Jonny G explained to us why the Little 250 is a bad idea. And Lyle followed up with an account of why a Little 1000 is even worse. He also reported that Adam's race will also be referred to as the Little One.

KK won the story contest. But only because Cousin Thomas was not there to claim his prize.

We talked about Darkness in the Morning and how early it is. The late, great Warren Zevon put it nicely:

Darkness in the morning
Shadows on the land
Certain individuals
Aren't sticking with the plan

Sticking with plans is hard. Maybe even harder than math and waiting. But we will give it our best shot. We will do it for Warren, if nothing else. So we will ride again tomorrow morning. 6:20 am departure from the Death Star or 6:30 at the Duck Pond. Don't be late. Unless you like riding alone.

We also spent some time talking about riding plans for the Spring Ride. It looks like we'll explore the Blue Highway on Friday with the usual Ingolf ride on Saturday. It will be awesome.

The tunes were off. Way off. Eddie was strangely silent. A night at the klubhaus without a raucous air guitar solo from Eddie is a wasted opportunity.