Monday, March 31, 2008

Hockey is over; we will ride

OTT: Sleep Station, The Last Parade

Creedence Revival at Brabantse Pijl

It was a weekend for winning streaks to come to an end. Or was it? With Tom Boonen failing to extend his run of victories at the E3 Prijs Vlaanderen on Saturday, it was only fitting Oscar Freire's streak at the Brabantse Pijl came to an end on Sunday as well. But just as Boonen and Freire saw their streaks come to an end, Sylvain Chavanel began a little winning streak of his own. He proved that his win at Dwars Door Vlaanderen on Wednesday was no fluke by winning his second consecutive race. In the past, he hasn't even shown up at these races but was racing the Criterium International instead. Now he's looking more and more like a classics stud. At the very least, he'll be a marked man next weekend at the Tour of Flanders. Or will he be working for Nick Nuyens? We shall see. Gilbert and Flecha round out the podium. Another race that usually ends with a sprint finish was won by a late attacker staying away. It's been an exciting season so far. Nothing like yawner that the hype machine known as March Madness has been this year.

Over in the FGBC Pool, all of a sudden it looks like we have a competition again. Having all but conceded defeat to Andy's team of nihilists just one day ago, Team Creedence Tapes showed that they still have some rock n' roll left in their gaunt little cyclist bodies. Perhaps it was the switch from Kraftwerk to Creedence in their earpieces. Or maybe it was the fact that the nihilists were saving themselves for next Sunday. Sissies. Either way, the boys from Creedence Tapes were on fire yesteray and racked up a grand total of 925 points. They pick up 625 points on the nihilists and now sit just 180 points out of first place.

Up Next: the second monument of the season--The Tour of Flanders--next Sunday. The same day the local monument known as Haiku Cross.

Top 30:

1 Sylvain Chavanel (Fra) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - 4.44.38 (40.683 km/h)
2 Philippe Gilbert (Bel) Française des Jeux - @ 0.29
3 Juan Antonio Flecha Giannoni (Spa) Rabobank - @ 0.37
4 Giovanni Visconti (Ita) Quickstep - @ 0.38
5 Frederik Willems (Bel) Liquigas - @ 0.40
6 Fabian Wegmann (Ger) Gerolsteiner - @ 0.59
7 Enrico Gasparotto (Ita) Barloworld - s.t.
8 Nick Nuyens (Bel) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - s.t.
9 Grégory Rast (Swi) Astana - @ 1.04
10 Nico Sijmens (Bel) Landbouwkrediet - Tönissteiner - s.t.
11 Anthony Geslin (Fra) Bouygues Telecom - s.t.
12 Bert De Waele (Bel) Landbouwkrediet - Tönissteiner - s.t.
13 Pavel Brutt (Rus) Tinkoff Credit Systems - s.t.
14 Karsten Kroon (Ned) Team CSC - s.t.
15 Johan Coenen (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
16 Rubens Bertogliati (Swi) Saunier Duval - Scott - s.t.
17 Jelle Vanendert (Bel) Française des Jeux - s.t.
18 Carlos Barredo Llamazales (Spa) Quickstep - s.t.
19 Marco Marcato (Ita) Cycle Collstrop - s.t.
20 Mickael Delage (Fra) Française des Jeux - s.t.
21 Kurt Hovelynck (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
22 Addy Engels (Ned) Quickstep - s.t.
23 Artur Gajek (Ger) Team Milram - s.t.
24 Mickaël Chérel (Fra) Française des Jeux - s.t.
25 Jonathan Hivert (Fra) Crédit Agricole - s.t.
26 Jan Kuyckx (Bel) Landbouwkrediet - Tönissteiner - s.t.
27 Jurgen Van Den Broeck (Bel) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
28 Dmytro Grabovskyy (Ukr) Quickstep - s.t.
29 Christophe Le Mével (Fra) Crédit Agricole - s.t.
30 Geert Verheyen (Bel) Mitsubishi-Jartazi - s.t.

Today's Results:

Creedence Tapes (Chris) 925
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) 385
Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) 300
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) 295
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) 275
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) 210
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) 205
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) 205
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) 205
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) 200
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) 200
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) 175
Nice Marmot (Hal) 95
F*ck Sympathy (David S) 10
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) 5
New Shit (Matt) 0
White Russians (Victor) 0
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) 0

Overall Standings:

Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) 3630
Creedence Tapes (Chris) 3450
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) 2295
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) 2160
New Shit (Matt) 1690
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) 1520
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) 1280
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) 1085
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) 935
Nice Marmot (Hal) 865
White Russians (Victor) 770
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) 695
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) 670
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) 660
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) 610
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) 555
F*ck Sympathy (David S) 395
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) 385

OTT: LK, Tandem Bikes

Sunday, March 30, 2008

March Madness Pool

50 games down, only 3 more to go. Here's where things stand heading into the final weekend. The big winner this weekend is Hal. After the first weekend, he was so far down in the scrap heap that one could be forgiven for writing him off altogether. But he's looking pretty sitting in 3rd place right now. The discerning reader will notice that Johnny S's bracket has been included. After he gave it to me on Saturday morning, I ran into El Presidente at the Altona Mall. He seemed to think Johnny's bracket might not be entirely on the up and up. He said something about it being on my conscience if I were to include it. Well, I've decided to include it anyway. I'm pretty sure my conscience can handle it. Besides, he's paid his $5 and he hasn't got a hope in hell anyway, so it's more money for the winners. I'll leave it up to El Presidente stir up some controversy if he likes, though. Just as I'll leave it to Johnny S to defend his good name.

Kind of a ho-hum weekend, all things considered. Davidson gave it a good shot. But in the end, it's a pretty boring bracket. All four #1 seeds advance for the first time ever. Conservatism is rewarded in the March Madness Pool. This is not good. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are. Dare I suggest that your FGBC credentials might be at stake for such an egregious display of prudence and moderation. A covert operation may be in order. Consider yourself warned.

To help you know how to cheer--or rather, to make it clear just who the enemy is here--I've provided the final picks and the total numer of potential points remaining from here on out. There's still plenty of jostling that can happen in the overall standings. Everything's still pretty much up for grabs. Even Cindy, Vic, and Rachel, who sit way down at the bottom of the pile after four rounds, can still make it into the money if things go their way. Jonny G, however, can not. In his best-case scenario, he can't even catch me. Sucker.

Charlene - 77 (UNC vs. Memphis; UNC wins; 17 points)
William - 75 (UNC vs. Memphis; UNC; 17)
Hal - 73 (UNC vs. UCLA; UCLA; 17)
Cheryl - 72 (UNC vs. UCLA; UCLA; 17)
David - 72 (UNC vs. UCLA; UNC; 17)
Tim - 72 (UNC vs. UCLA; UNC; 17)
Agnes - 71 (UNC vs. Duke; Duke; 5)
Harry - 71 (Notre Dame vs. UCLA; UCLA; 12)
Jacob - 71 (UNC vs. UCLA; UCLA; 17)
Chris - 70 (UNC vs. Duke; Duke; 5)
Julia - 70 (UNC vs. UCLA; UCLA; 17)
Myron - 68 (UNC vs. UCLA; UNC; 17)
Johnny S - 68 (UNC vs. Texas; Texas; 5)
Cindy - 63 (Kansas vs. Texas; Kansas; 12)
Vic - 62 (Kansas vs. Memphis; Kansas; 17)
Rachel - 61 (Tenn. vs. Memphis; Memphis; 12)
Jonny G - 57 (Kansas vs. Stanford; Kansas; 12)

OTT: Burial, Shell of Light

ride a f'n bike

i've always thought we should have a band... while there's still time (what with Tom's various plans for a rock opera, and Tenacious V's impending operatic performance, there should be space for a punk band), but, i guess someone beat us to it for now. our lyrics would obviously be in haiku form.
lyrics here.
song here.

E3 Prijs Vlaanderen: Done

Poor Tom Boonen couldn't make it five in a row in the E3 Prijs yesterday. He gave it an honest effort though, easily dropping the peloton while trying to bridge up to the leading group with Fabian Cancellara. In the end, however, they were unable to catch the leaders and the breakaway managed to hold on. Cancellara's teammate, Kurt-Asle Arvesen took the win. Boonen lost the sprint for 7th place to Matti Breschel and had to settle for 8th on the day.

Over in the FGBC Pool, the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers finally lives up to the hype. Ian's team gets 250 points from Thomas Voeckler's 4th place finish, and they add 90 from Hoste, 75 from Cancellara, and 5 for Christophe Mengin holding hanging in until the finish. That's 420 points. Unfortunately, it only puts a slight dent into the fortress that is Vee Vant Ze Money. Andy's team continues to look strong. He adds 365 points to give him 3340 on the season, and an 815 point cushoin to the competition.

Top 30:

1 Kurt-Asle Arvesen (Nor) Team CSC - 4.57.03 (41,003 km/h)
2 David Kopp (Ger) Cycle Collstrop - 0.05
3 Greg Van Avermaet (Bel) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
4 Thomas Voeckler (Fra) Bouygues Telecom - s.t.
5 Janek Tombak (Est) Mitsubishi-Jartazi - s.t.
6 Bernhard Eisel (Aut) Team High Road - @ 0.26
7 Matti Breschel (Den) Team CSC - @ 1.20
8 Tom Boonen (Bel) Quick Step - s.t.
9 Stijn Devolder (Bel) Quick Step - s.t.
10 Staf Scheirlinckx (Bel) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - s.t.
11 Michael Schär (Swi) Astana - s.t.
12 Lars Bak (Den) Team CSC - s.t.
13 Leif Hoste (Bel) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
14 Maarten Tjallingii (Ned) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
15 Kristof Vandewalle (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
16 Fabian Cancellara (Swi) Team CSC - @ 3.38
17 Simon Spilak (Slo) Lampre - s.t.
18 Serguei Ivanov (Rus) Astana - @ 4.15
19 Marcel Sieberg (Ger) Team High Road - s.t.
20 Tom Veelers (Ned) Skil-Shimano - s.t.
21 Stefan Van Dijk (Ned) Mitsubishi-Jartazi - s.t.
22 Mickael Delage (Fra) Française des Jeux - s.t.
23 Arnaud Gérard (Fra) Française des Jeux - s.t.
24 Gianni Meersman (Bel) Française des Jeux - s.t.
25 Heinrich Haussler (Ger) Gerolsteiner - s.t.
26 Aurélien Clerc (Swi) Bouygues Telecom - s.t.
27 Roy Sentjens (Bel) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
28 Raivis Belohvosciks (Lat) Saunier Duval - Scott - s.t.
29 Koen Barbé (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
30 Ralf Grabsch (Ger) Team Milram - s.t.


They're racing the Brabantse Pijl as I write. With about 40 km to go, it's all coming back together. That should set off a series of nasty attacks and counter attacks before what is very likely to be a sprint for the win.

Today's Results:

Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 420
Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 365
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 330
New Shit (Matt) - 295
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 280
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 200
White Russians (Victor) - 165
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 140
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 135
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 135
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 125
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 100
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 95
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 90
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 85
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 45
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 10
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 10

Overall Standings:

Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 3340
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 2525
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 2095
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 1775
New Shit (Matt) - 1690
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 1320
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 1080
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 1005
White Russians (Victor) - 770
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 765
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 730
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 695
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 455
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 435
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 385
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 375
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 345
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 180

OTT: Delorean, In Love With the Doubt

Saturday, March 29, 2008


After the third round, the leader board has a bit of a new look to it. The Koops have made their move. Charlene and Cheryl both picked 6 out of the possible 8 games. Charlene grabs the lead while Cheryl has moved into a tie with El Presidente for 2nd place. Agnes, Jacob and William are right there as well. William still has a clean slate from here on out, but Agnes and Jacob are not positioned so well for the remaining games--e.g., Agnes has Duke winning it all. One crucial game, as far as the top teams are concerned, is the Memphis - Texas matchup. Charlene, Agnes and William have Memphis for the win, while David and Cheryl picked Texas. Jacob will concede 4 points there, as he had Stanford heading to the final four.

Charlene - 61
Cheryl - 60
David S - 60
Agnes - 59
William - 59
Chris - 58
Hal - 57
Rachel - 57
Myron - 56
Tim - 56
Harry - 55
Julia - 54
Cindy - 51
Vic - 50
Jonny G - 49

OTT: Breate Owl Breate, Ghost in the Morning Room

Friday, March 28, 2008

Weekend Preview: E3 Prijs & Brabantse Pijl

The FGBC Classics Pool continues on Saturday with the E3 Prijs Vlaanderen. Apparently, it's named after a highway--the E3. Tom Boonen has won this one for the past 4 consecutive years. Can he make it 5? Team OYNG and the White Russians are hoping so. Previews from CN and PdC. Startlists here. See also the official website, which has details on the course details and each of the cobbled climbs.

And hot on its heels comes the hillier Brabantse Pijl--the Brabant Arrow--on Sunday. It's the final tune-up before the Tour of Flanders next weekend, so expect a deeper field of participants. This one's been dominated by Oscar Freire for the past three years. Starlists here. Preview at PdC, and CN. Official website here.

Race coverage, if available for either of the races, will be listed here.

There's talk of a possible ride in Altona this weekend. I'm heading out there again for the 3rd time in 4 weekends. It might be tough to find a time, but we'll try. Check with Johnny S if you're interested. Hopefully we won't be snowed under by then.

OTT: Sugar, Believe What You're Saying

Thursday, March 27, 2008

DDV: FGBC Spring Classics Pool Update

Charlene's Team OYNG (Obviously You're Not a Golfer) wins the day with a nicely diversified approach: 275 pts from Eeckhout, 100 from Fischer, and 70 from Van Dijk to go along with a paltry 5 points from Tom "remember when I was a badass bike racer" Boonen, who finished a disappointing 37th. You can almost hear the Belgian media wanting to come out and say that he sucks, but they can't quite get themselves to do it. In all fairness, though, he crashed yesterday and then didn't seem inclined to take any risks on the wet roads. Still, to put it all in perspective, after last year's Dwars Door Vlaanderen he had already accumulated 1250 points. This year he's sitting at 350. But there are two more races this weekend, so it's not too late to lose hope just yet. At least that's what Charlene and Vic are telling themselves. With 450 points on the day, Team OYNG doubles its point total and now sits solidly in the middle of the pack at 880. If the real Tom Boonen were to show up, they'd be right up there in the top 3.

The top 30:

1 Sylvain Chavanel (Fra) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - 4.32.27 (44.04 km/h)
2 Steven De Jongh (Ned) Quick Step - 0.28
3 Niko Eeckhout (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
4 Andreas Klier (Ger) Team High Road s.t.
5 Allan Johansen (Den) Team CSC - s.t.
6 Gorik Gardeyn (Bel) Silence - Lotto s.t.
7 Martin Elmiger (Swi) AG2R - La Mondiale s.t.
8 Guennadi Mikhailov (Rus) Mitsubishi-Jartazi s.t.
9 Joost Posthuma (Ned) Rabobank s.t.
10 Nick Nuyens (Bel) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone s.t.
11 Murilo Fischer (Bra) Liquigas s.t.
12 Niki Terpstra (Ned) Team Milram - 0.32
13 Tomas Vaitkus (Ltu) Astana - 0.44
14 Robbie McEwen (Aus) Silence - Lotto - s.t.
15 Wouter Weylandt (Bel) Quick Step - s.t.
16 Markus Eichler (Ger) Team Milram - s.t.
17 Stefan Van Dijk (Ned) Mitsubishi-Jartazi - s.t.
18 Matti Breschel (Den) Team CSC - s.t.
19 Tom Veelers (Ned) Skil-Shimano - s.t.
20 Michael Reihs (Den) Team Designa Køkken - s.t.
21 André Greipel (Ger) Team High Road - s.t.
22 Max Van Heeswijk (Ned) Willems Veranda's Continental Team - s.t.
23 Kenny De Haes (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
24 Aart Vierhouten (Ned) P3Transfer - Batavus - s.t.
25 Arnoud Van Groen (Ned) P3Transfer - Batavus - s.t.
26 Kevin Neirynck (Bel) Landbouwkrediet - Tönissteiner - s.t.
27 Yoann Offredo (Fra) Française des Jeux - s.t.
28 Daniel Lloyd (GBr) An Post - M: Donnelly - Grant Thornton - Sean Kelly Team - s.t.
29 Kurt Hovelynck (Bel) Topsport Vlaanderen - s.t.
30 James Vanlandschoot (Bel) Mitsubishi-Jartazi - s.t.

Today's Results:

Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 450
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 415
Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 310
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 310
White Russians (Victor) - 295
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 250
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 90
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 90
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 85
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 45
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 15
New Shit (Matt) - 10
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 10
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 10
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 5
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 5
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 0
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 0

Overall Standings:

Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 2975
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 2385
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 1675
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 1495
New Shit (Matt) - 1395
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 990
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 920
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 880
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 755
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 685
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 635
White Russians (Victor) - 605
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 345
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 330
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 250
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 245
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 240
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 174

Next up is the E3 Prijs Vlaanderen on Saturday. More info to follow.

OTT: All of Your Friends, Local Celebrities Gather at the Watering Hole

Thursday Anticipation

T minus 9 weeks:

OTT: Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, Cold Son

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dwars Door Vlaanderen: Done

Chavanel wins it. But not that Chavanel. Or at least, not the Chavanel that appears on four FGBC CLassics Pool teams. That would be Sebastian Chavanel, and the winner of the DDV is Sylvain. Sylvain the underachiever, who has a history of not living up to his promise. Sylvain who didn't even appear on our list of riders from whcih to choose. Why? Because he didn't crack the top 30 in any of these races last year. Or is it Sylvain the French (and so non-doped) rider who now has the opportunity to race on a more level playing field? Either way, his win today means that his name will appear on the list of riders for next year.

Full results and report from CN.


It's going to be a day or two until I get around to updating the pool.

Snow Crit #7: Done

Not so much a race
Sweet ride to Woodhaven though
Just me and Craig P

It's winter again?
This is getting really old
Make up your mind, please

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Snow Crit #7: An Update

I previewed the course earlier today. Other than the spot where I broke through the ice and ended up in water up to my front hub, it's just fine. Fortunately, we can easily avoid that part. The race is on. Be there.

Dwars Door Vlaanderen: The Cobbles are Coming

With Milan - San Remo out of the way, it's back to the short but steep (18% - 20%!!) cobbled climbs that Belgium is known for. Dwars Door Vlaanderen means Straight Through Flanders or Right Across Flanders, depending on how you translate it. It takes place tomorrow and it marks the beginning of a series of races that ramp up towards the next major goal of the spring classics season--The Ronde Van Vlaanderen (Tour of Flanders) on April 6. In fact, many of the same nasty sections will be featured in the next several races. So starting tomorrow, we will start to get a good sense of who some of the big favourites are for the Ronde. These are the races that Tom Boonen seems to prefer. But while he's got to be considered a strong favourite, he's also been notably silent in the last little while, making his $19 price tag seem a tad exorbitant, especially compared with the bargain known as Fabian Cancellara. Pretty soon we'll know whether Boonen's just been biding his time or if he's really not on form at the moment. Cancellara will be there too. Surely he won't win again, will he? This is more of a Stuart O'Grady race.

Brief preview available from PdC. Startlists here. More info, including maps, on the official website.

OTT: The Decemberists, The Sporting Life

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them?

It's time for another FGBC March Madness Pool update. I'm now only waiting on a bracket from Johnny S. But with 6 more entries received in the last couple of days (4 from El Presidente and his clan), it's time for an update. It may seem a little odd that three of the top four spots are now occupied by people whose brackets have just been received. But to those of you who are inclined to whine: don't. Not only does it make you look pathetic, I've verified that all brackets were completed before play began last Thursday.

For those of you who think you know what you're doing, the results may be a little humbling. The current leader is all of three (or is it four?) years old. Then again, something tells me he may have received a little help. Either way, the Altona village coalition of El Presidente and Co. is looking strong in the early going.

Jacob S - 47
David S - 45
Rachel - 45
Agnes - 44
Tim R - 44
William S - 44
Charlene - 43
Chris - 43
Harry - 43
Cheryl - 42
Myron - 41
Jonny G - 40
Cindy - 39
Hal - 39
Julia - 39
Vic - 38

Once I get the bracket I've been promised from Johnny S, that will bring the total up to 17 entries. This gives us a pot of $85. The winner is poised to receive $50, 2nd place gets $25, and 3rd place gets $10.

OTT: Dolorean, To Destruction

Monday, March 24, 2008

Snow Crit #7

It seemed for a while that the series was due to end prematurely, since a snow crit without snow isn't exactly a snow crit. But with the snow this afternoon and more expected this evening, the race will go ahead as originally planned and the spring race series will have to wait for a little while longer. Pre-race coffee at Roca Jacks, across from the park. Meet at my place at 9:30 to ride over together or meet at the coffee shop a little later.

Hopefully the Foo Fighters show will end in time to allow those who are attending to join us at the clubhouse.

OTT: Get Him Eat Him, Present Tenses

MSR: The Video

We pick it up with just over 7 hours of racing already completed, just before the foot of the Poggio. Even though we all know the outcome by now, it's still a thing of beauty. Fabian's a stud. Watch:

OTT: David Bowie, Glass Spider

March Madness Pool Update

I'm still waiting to receive at least seven brackets, so this is incomplete. But at any rate, here's where things stand after the first two rounds given what I've got.

Rachel - 45
Tim R - 44
Charlene - 43
Chris - 43
Cheryl - 42
Myron - 41
Jonny G - 40
Hal - 39
Julia - 39
Vic - 38

Only one team has already lost its pick to win it all. That would be, um, me. I've already turned the page. 2009, bring it on. Go Davidson!

OTT: The Details, Reunion Souvenirs

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Fabian Again

Fabian Cancellara destroyed the dreams of the sprinters in Milan - San Remo yesterday. He managed to stay close to the attackers on the Poggio, and caught them on the way down. Then, when he decided to hit the gas with 3km to go, nobody could follow. He TT'd his way to the finish line in San Remo with a dominant, jaw-dropping show of force. Yikes. Full reports, results, and photos at CN, VN, and Pez.

Top 30:

1 Fabian Cancellara (Swi) Team CSC - 7.14.35 (41,142 km/h)
2 Filippo Pozzato (Ita) Liquigas - 0.04
3 Philippe Gilbert (Bel) Française des Jeux - s.t.
4 Davide Rebellin (Ita) Gerolsteiner - s.t.
5 Mirco Lorenzetto (Ita) Lampre - s.t.
6 Anthony Geslin (Fra) Bouygues Telecom -s.t.
7 Rinaldo Nocentini (Ita) AG2R La Mondiale - s.t.
8 Oscar Freire Gomez (Spa) Rabobank - 0.05
9 Thor Hushovd (Nor) Crédit Agricole - s.t.
10 Kurt-Asle Arvesen (Nor) Team CSC - s.t.
11 Alessandro Bertolini (Ita) Serramenti PVC Diquigiovann - s.t.
12 Enrico Gasparotto (Ita) Barloworld - s.t.
13 Raffaele Illiano (Ita) Serramenti PVC Diquigiovanni - 0.08
14 Inigo Landaluze Intxaurraga (Spa) Euskaltel - 0.11
15 Franco Pellizotti (Ita) Liquigas - 0.12
16 Alessandro Ballan (Ita) Lampre - 0.13
17 Erik Zabel (Ger) Team Milram - 0.14
18 Alessandro Petacchi (Ita) Team Milram - s.t.
19 Baden Cooke (Aus) Barloworld - s.t.
20 Nick Nuyens (Bel) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - s.t.
21 Martin Elmiger (Swi) AG2R La Mondiale - 0.15
22 Enrico Rossi (Ita) NGC Medical - OTC Industria Porte - s.t.
23 Ariel Maximiliano Richeze (Arg) CSF Group Navigare - s.t.
24 Xavier Florencio Cabre (Spa) Bouygues Telecom s.t.
25 Julian Dean (NZl) Slipstream Chipotle Presented By H30 - s.t.
26 Aitor Galdos Alonso (Spa) Euskaltel - Euskadi - s.t.
27 Lloyd Mondory (Fra) AG2R La Mondiale - s.t.
28 Manuele Mori (Ita) Saunier Duval - Scott - s.t.
29 Tom Boonen (Bel) Quick Step - 0.16
30 Arnaud Labbe (Fra) Bouygues Telecom s.t.

Over in the FGBC Classics Pool, 5 teams have Cancellara. Team New Shit has both Cancellara and Rebellin, for a solid 615 point day. But it's all about Andy's Vee Vant Ze Money squad in this race. His team includes Cancellara, Pozzato, Gilbert, and Rebellin. The top four finishers of today's race! Throw in 5 points for Leif Hoste and it's a whopping 1180 point day. He now has 2665 points and a 695 point lead. Yikes.

Today's Results:

Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 1180
New Shit (Matt) - 615
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 495
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 495
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 430
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 370
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 365
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 305
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 215
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 150
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 105
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 90
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 90
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 30
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 25
White Russians (Victor) - 25
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 20
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 20

Overal Standings:

Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 2665
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 1970
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 1590
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 1485
New Shit (Matt) - 1385
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 990
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 915
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 545
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 505
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 430
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 375
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 345
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 315
White Russians (Victor) - 310
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 240
Uli Kunkel powered by Karl Hungus (Adam) - 235
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 155
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 130

The races come fast and furious over the next little while, as we return to Belgium for three races within the span of a week: Dwars Door Vlaanderen (Mar. 26), E3 Prijs Vlaanderen (Mar. 29), and De Brabantse Pijl (Mar. 30). This is an opportunity to score some points from your $1 guys. The next big one is the Tour of Flanders on April 6.

OTT: Dead Confederate, Get Out

Friday, March 21, 2008


The FGBC Spring classics pool resumes tomorrow with Milan-San Remo, the first of the so-called monuments. In other words, it's a big one. With more than a few years of history on its side. Among other things, this means that everyone will be there. Especially the sprinters. So those of you with Freire, Pettachi, McEwen, Boonen, Hushovd, among others, tomorrow could be your lucky day.

As for the race, basically it's 290 kms worth of rather boring riding to shed the chumps, and then the Poggio with 6km left to launch a few breakaway attempts for the sprinters to chase. More often than not it comes down to a bunch sprint. It sounds like everyone's annointed Oscar Freire as the odds on favourite to win it. But every now and then one of the attackers is able to stay away. That's what I'm hoping for. Team Creedence Tapes is not exactly built around sprinters.

Startlists here. Previews available from CN, VN, and Pez. For information on where you might be able to watch it, go here.

With MSR on our minds, this is probably as good time a time as any to remind ourselves that it's usually better to hold off on your victory celebration until you're sure you've actually won. Let's call it Zabel's law after studly Erik Zabel, who forgot this crucial nugget of bike racing wisdom at San Remo a few years back, getting pipped by Friere at the line.

Evidently someone forgot to explain the importance of Zabel's law to this guy:

Don't let it happen to you.

For those of you splashing around in the NCAA Pool, all I have to say is this: you only need one. One point that is. A one point victory is still a victory. And at the end of the day it's only wins and losses that count. Phew. I will update once I've received all the brackets. Go Devils!!

OTT: The Drawbacks, Couch Buddies


Looks like there are a couple of options shaping up. More info here.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday Anticipation

The Haiku Master has spoken:

Basically, we have a date. Further details (i.e., where and when) will get here when they get here. Be patient. Relax. And consider it part of your race preparation. You can't write a decent haiku with your sphincter in a knot.

T minus 10 weeks:

It's officially spring today, but it feels like winter has rebounded a little bit. The longer it hangs on, the greater the likelihood of having to utilize the tip-toe technique so deftly exemplified here by Jonny G. It's been a few years since we've had those sorts of conditions for the Spring Ride. Maybe we're due. It wouldn't be the end of the world. And there's nothing we can do about it anyway. And, no, you can't tip-toe with your sphincter in a knot.

OTT: Hayden, Where and When

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

movie tonight - good friday ride

late notice, but for those who can, tonight at cinematheque: "joe strummer: the future is unwritten"

paddy is off to bhp for noon on friday - join him, its a great place to ride. little early for those who have lunch commitments. looking for a ride a little bit later than that, anyone interested? will probably start in the city and head west, may try and find some gravel road for fun.

Hummelt Hockey: Done

Colin has new brakes
Put to the test on Portage
Did not work so well

Parkade race coming
Traffic circle crit as well
Maybe some tunnels

The President said
"This time, for sure, I'm riding"
There's always next time

Hockey is over
Les's offensive odour
Torments them no more

The honorary capain's appeal hearing begins today in NYC. All you need to know about it, and more, can be found here.

OTT: The Lovetones, Say You Will

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Tuesday Night Ride

With the snow on its way into the sewers and the looming end of the Snow Crit series, we shall head downtown to scout out some potential locations for the spring and summer version of the Tuesday Night Race series.

And then it's back to the clubhouse to celebrate the end of another season of Hummelt Hockey. We have reason to hope our stick-wielding bretheren will be less distracted from here on out.

Juan Eppstein has put the matter of Spring Ride accomodations on the agenda as well.

OTT: Seafood, Little Pieces

Monday, March 17, 2008

FGBC March Madness Pool

Because there's more to life than bikes and bullshit. There's basketball.

Print it out. Fill it in. Cross your fingers. $5 to enter. Completed brackets must be in my possession by Thursday morning.

Same scoring system as usual. 1st round picks worth 1 pt, 2nd round = 2 pts, 3rd = 3 pts, etc. Except that the final game is worth 7 pts. Winner gets 60% of the pot, 2nd place gets 30%, 3rd gets 10%.

Go Devils!

OTT: Marvelous Darlings, I Don't Wanna Go to the Party

ride report and movies

great to get on the bike and ride on dry roads. it was a breezy ride at times (as it usually is at bhp), but a ton of fun to actually role along at a decent clip with no stops and few cars. anywhere from 35 to 50 k of riding was completed. did not bring the camera, but others had theirs, hope they will be posting some pics soon. the following group enjoyed the ride:

dallas (briefly forgot that he was there atop of his rig)
brad e (who joined up later)

look for more rides every weekend from here on in. possibilities include a good friday ride.

looking to switch monday night movie to wednesday. on tap: "joe strummer: the future is unwritten." maybe we could make this the tuesday night ride?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hey Bosses, Read This

From the Seattle Post Intelligencer:
Employees at Seattle law firm Hagens Berman Sobol Shapiro recently got a big incentive to take up the sport. Management promised bicycles worth $3,500 to any employee who pledges to bike to work three months out of the year.

Firm managing partner and cyclist Steve Berman said he wanted to find a way to reduce the firm's carbon footprint and encourage fitness.

Berman said he gets the bikes at cost from Ridley Bicycles for about $1,800.

So far, 35 of the firm's 100 employees have signed up. Berman expects to hand out the bikes by May, and it will cost the firm $63,000.

The price was worth it, he said.

"As an employer, I was, like, over the moon in terms of the positive reaction that I got for this," he said. "First, I was worried that some of my partners would think that I was wasting firm money."
Sounds like a win-win scenario to me. Full story here.

Also worth reading is Slipstream rider Will Frishkorn's account of his close encounter with a hooved beast during last weekend's Monte Paschi Eroica:
In my report on eroica I forgot to mention one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen. We’re flying down this hill and see these 2 deer off in the field to the left. All of a sudden they’re flying towards us, one jumps over the field, and the other tries to go straight through, full blast. It t-bones the guy 2 ahead of me, fully takes him and his bike off into the ditch, and the rest of us fly by unscathed, fur flying through the air. Guess poor bambi didn’t make it, and the rider had a quick trip to the hospital. Unreal. Pretty much thought I was going to die. Lucky that deer was moving so fast…. Crazy.
And finally, check out the last few kms from yesterday's stage 3 of the Tirreno-Adriatico. "The wall" of Montelupone. 20% grade. And not just once but twice. The motorcycles were crashing. And some riders had to resort to pushing their bikes up the hill. Ouch.

OTT: Spoon, My Little Japanese Cigarette Case

Friday, March 14, 2008

sunday bike ride

time to start putting on the miles. sunday is suppose to be niceish, anyone want to go to bhp for mindless laps on the pavement? thinking 2:00 would be a good time (leave the city at 1:30) - ride for 1.5 -2 hrs. gears, no gears, mtn, cross or road bike - ride what you got.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

from gianni


Thursday Anticipation

Only 11 weeks away:

As if the anticipation of the Spring Ride isn't thrilling enough, I hereby officially unveil another exciting FGBC event for your anticipatory pleasure.

A few comments: first, the date isn't exactly set in stone. Mostly, I needed something to put on the poster. But July seems to me like a good time, since it's more likely to be hellishly hot. It's also far enough away to allow for a handful of shorter reconnoitering missions before finally settling on the details of the route. Second, I'm genuinely ambivalent about whether to approach this as a group ride or a race. I can go either way, and will heartily support whichever option seems most likely to secure the greatest number of participants. Third, the route: we'll begin at Tinker and head west, initially following last year's Red Ass route. But we'll depart from the Red Ass route after the first valley crossing in order to more fully take advantage of the hills and the valley. We'll stay on 201 until about Snowflake, which will allow us to climb up Suicide Hill. Then we'll snake our way back and forth across the valley to take in as much of the hurt that the climbs have to offer and the thrill that the descents will provide, before eventually making our way back to Tinker. Comments?

Also, I have spoken with the Haiku master, and we have determined that Haiku Cross will be on April 6. More info and an official poster coming soon.

And finally, a lecture: "What Does Planning a City Around Cyclists Look Like?" by Anne Vernez Moudon, Professor of Urban Design at the University of Washington. March 14 (tomorrow), 1pm at CMU. It's open to the public. Be there!

OTT: Gavin Froome, All Night

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Snow Crit #6: Done

Omand's Creek climb fest
Heavy legs and burning backs
20 times uphill


Jonny G

If the snow sticks around, Snow Crit #7 is on March 25.

Good times at the clubhouse, as always. Only one more week of Hummelt Hockey. Then it's the Foo Fighters. And then it's full on FGBC Tuesday Night Ride time.

Token photos:

A poem for Vic from the drunk guy:

Hey--Randy Dutaime!
It has been too long, my friend
Why are you leaving?

OTT: The Details, Reunion Souvenirs

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

FGBC Homegrown Video Collection

MennoCross 2013

Minutes of the 2013 MennoCross Meeting from dnb on Vimeo.

DarkCross 2013 Crooked Bros. Matt and Jesse shot the footage, our own JP edited and applied the old skool looks.  Sweet.

DarkCross2013 from dnb on Vimeo. Darkcross 2012
Darkcross 2012 from dnb on Vimeo.
One Foot in the Grave' (Gravel Race) Spring 2012 24Hrs of Bill Murray 2012 Barn Cross 2012
Barn Cross 2012 from dnb on Vimeo.
Darkcross 2011
Dark Cross 2011 from dnb on Vimeo.

24Hrs of Falcon Ridge 2010

24 Hours of Falcon Ridge 2010 from dnb on Vimeo.
MennoCross 2010

MennoCross 2010 from dnb on Vimeo.

Sloth Cross 2010

Southern Cross 2009

Southern Cross 2009 from dnb on Vimeo.

MennoCross 2009

A MennoCrossection 2009 from dnb on Vimeo.

24hrs of Coens - 2009

24hrs of Coens Race from dnb on Vimeo.

Southern Cross - Altona - 2008

Southern Cross 2008 from dnb on Vimeo.

24hrs of Sedition - 2008

Altona Cross 2008

Yerba Cross Primer

Spring Ride 2007

24hrs of Assiniboine

24hrs of Sedition video recap

Yes, it took a while, but here's a little trip down memory lane.

Snow Crit #6

It's the 2nd Tuesday of the month, which means it's time to have a little race.

Get your climbing legs on, boys and girls. This one's going to be all up and down. Meet at my place, 9:30 (not 9:00, as the poster says) or at the Neighborhood Cafe shortly thereafter for the traditional pre-race espresso.

With the weather finally turning a corner, it's not clear how many more of these there will be. But as long as there's snow to race on, we'll keep going.

Also, don't miss HTATBL's ode to the cycling moustache.

OTT: Chris Pureka, Cynical

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Tour of Altona Report

The 3rd annual Tour of Altona went down yesterday afternoon. El Presidente hinted that it was shaping up to be the awesomest ever. And was he ever right. Once again, Altona comes through big. A three-stage race complete with a rink dog feast, home baked prizes, post-race radio interviews, giggles with the Wii, a Duke - Carolina game (I think that's three Duke losses in 3 years of doing this, though), new helmets for the kids, and all around good times.

A big thank-you to the entire Tour of Altona planning committee (Johnny S, David S, Paul B, and the Duker). Thanks also to whomever baked and donated the prizes. The snow shovellers deserve a self-applied pat on the back too. And of course, thanks to everyone who showed up and made it a good event.

Here's a brief run-down of what transpired:

Stage 1: Slow Race - Racers were grouped into heats of 4 or 5, with the top two advancing to the semis, and the top two of those advancing to the final four. Some were just a bit better than others at this arcane discipline. In fact, Ian, Hal, and Gavin put on a track stand clinic. When all was said and done, Hal emerged as the slowest of the slow, followed by Ian and Gavin.

Stage 2: Knockdown - Three rounds and three different winners. This one was a bit disappointing, actually. Way too defensive. We will work on some rule changes for next year to ensure that more elbows, hips, shoulders, and heads are thrown. Nevertheless, Curt F is this year's knockdown champion with 13 points. Chris and Ian tied for 2nd with 8 points each. Gavin had 6 points for 3rd place.

Stage 3: Relay Race - Up, down and around the hill, through the park and back, and then very gingerly back to the exchange point over some exceedingly slick ice. Having been collectively humiliated in the slow-race and still reeling from a sub-par performance from one-time knockdown stud Johnny S, the team of Chris and Johnny S went out hard from the get-go and took no prisoners. They win this event for the second consecutive year, completing 14 laps in the hour-long race. Jonny G and Gavin grabbed 2nd place with 13 laps. Ian and Jeff finished 3rd, also completing 13 laps, but coming in a couple minutes later.

With all the results carefully tabulated and calculated by the Duker, a mysterious formula was applied to yield the following overall results:

1) Hal/Albert - 38
2) Ian/Jeff - 36
3) Jonny G/Gavin - 33
4) Johnny S/Chris - 33
5) Curt/Matt - 23
6) Charles/Dan - 21
7) Steve/Al - 14
8) Bruce/Brenda - 12
9) Paul/Julia - 8

The Film:

And here are a few photos. There are plenty more over at the FGBC Flickr photo depot. If you want still more, be in touch with El Presidente. He took several hundred.

And . . . Go!

Another lap almost done, barring a fatal ice mishap.

Even after a couple hours of shovelling in the morning,
Jonny G still had plenty of gas left in the tank, especially heading down hill

Johnny S & Co. know how to put on a good event.
If they're planning it, you'd be wise to show up.

And that concludes Nordic Cross #6. Once upon a time, Haiku Cross (race #7) was scheduled for this evening. Needless to say, that changed. Rest assured, poetry lovers. I have spoken to the Haiku Master himself. And he says it's still a go. It looks like maybe a Tuesday evening though. Maybe not. Either way, stay tuned for further details.

In the overall Nordic Cross series, Hal has jumped back into the lead and looks to be in good shape to defend his title heading into the final two races. Jonny G and Ian took advantage of Juan Eppstein's absence to jump into 3rd and 4th, respectively. Looks like we have a nice three-way battle shaping up for third place. It helps to show up at the races, especially the ones with high participation. Look at all the people who have participated in at least one Nordic Cross race. Not bad, boys and girls.

Nordic Cross Standings (after 6 races):

Hal - 650
Chris - 630
Jonny G - 460
Ian - 450
Dave E - 430
Paddy - 300
Vic - 280
Johnny S - 260
Tomek - 190
Brad - 190
LeAnn - 180
Unger - 180
Albert - 180
Darryl - 160
Dave L - 160
Luc - 160
Haiku Jeff - 160
Adam - 140
Gavin - 140
Dave D - 120
Naomi - 100
Matt K - 100
Curt - 100
Aiden - 90
Penner - 80
Charles - 80
Dan K - 80
Colin - 60
Al - 60
Steve W - 60
Jonny B - 50
James - 40
Adrian A - 40
Jonny N - 40
Bruce - 40
Liam - 30
Paul B - 20
Julia - 20
Matt H - 10

OTT: Wendy Bucklew, Very Own Car

Fabian's a Hero

Fabian Cancellara and Allesandro Ballan are two of the strong men amongst the strong men who favour the spring classics. Cancellara won Paris-Roubaix in 2006. Ballan finished 3rd that year, and further established himself as a classics star by winning last year's Tour of Flanders. At the 2nd running of the Monte Paschi Eroica yesterday they found themselves engaged in a fierce battle over the hilly gravel roads of Tuscany. Cancellara won it in the end, and is showing some scary form heading into some of the bigger spring races. Also of note was the impressive ride by Slipstream's argyle-clad Canuck, Ryder Hesjedal. He found himself in the big break of the day and attacked with 27 km to go and held the lead for a while. But that was before Ballan and Cancellara came roaring by and really put the hammer down. Hesjedal managed to hold on for 10th place. A respectable finish nonetheless.

In only it's 2nd year, this race is winning lots of fans. Hesjedal declared it "one of the coolest races I have done." And it seems to be living up to its billing as a race for the "hard men." Of the 158 starters, only 63 finished the race. More from CN and VN.

In the Spring Classics Pool, Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) and These Men are Cowards (Paddy) tie for the win with 400 points each. Overall, the top four remain pretty much the same, but there was plenty of jockeying for position in the middle of the pack. The next race is the Milan - San Remo, the first of the so-called monuments, on March 22. All the big sprinters will come out to play. So teams with Pettachi, McEwen, Boonen, Friere, Hushovd and Hunter could be in for a big gain. But someone like Pozzato or Bettini or Ballan or Rebellin will try to attack on the Poggio and hold them off over the final 6 km. Should be fun.

Here's the last 20 minutes of the race in two clips. The first shows Ballan and Cancellara catching and overtaking Hesjedal. The second shows the run-in on the narrow roads toward the finish in Siena's Piazza del Campo.

Top 30:

1 Fabian Cancellara (Swi) Team CSC - 4.34.41 (39.536 km/h)
2 Alessandro Ballan (Ita) Lampre - Fondital - s.t.
3 Linus Gerdemann (Ger) Team High Road - 0.15
4 Martijn Maaskant (Ned) Slipstream Chipotle Presented By H30 - s.t.
5 Baden Cooke (Aus) Barloworld - s.t.
6 Patrick Calcagni (Swi) Barloworld s.t.
7 Niklas Axelsson (Swe) Serramenti PVC Diquigiovanni-Androni Giocattoli
8 Thomas Lövkvist (Swe) Team High Road s.t.
9 Pavel Brutt (Rus) Tinkoff Credit Systems - 0.38
10 Ryder Hesjedal (Can) Slipstream Chipotle Presented By H30 - s.t.
11 Giairo Ermeti (Ita) LPR Brakes - s.t.
12 Borghini Longo (Ita) Barloworld - s.t.
13 Carlo Scognamiglio (Ita) Barloworld - s.t.
14 Murilo Fischer (Bra) Liquigas - 1.10
15 Daniele Pietropolli (Ita) LPR Brakes - s.t.
16 Steven Cozza (USA) Slipstream Chipotle Presented By H30 - s.t.
17 Ángel Gómez (Spa) Saunier Duval - Scott - s.t.
18 Kurt-Asle Arvesen (Nor) Team CSC - s.t.
19 Gerald Ciolek (Ger) Team High Road - s.t.
20 Danilo Hondo (Ger) Serramenti PVC Diquigiovanni-Androni Giocattoli
21 Fabian Wegmann (Ger) Gerolsteiner - s.t.
22 Leonardo Duque (Col) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone - s.t.
23 Rubens Bertogliati (Swi) Saunier Duval - Scott - s.t.
24 Vincenzo Nibali (Ita) Liquigas - s.t.
25 Matti Breschel (Den) Team CSC s.t.
26 Volker Ordowski (Ger) Gerolsteiner - 1.50
27 Marco Velo (Ita) Team Milram - s.t.
28 Mauro Santambrogio (Ita) Lampre - Fondital - s.t.
29 Anders Lund (Den) Team CSC - s.t.
30 Florent Brard (Fra) Cofidis - Le Crédit par Téléphone s.t.

Today's Results:

Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 400
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 400
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 355
Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 350
Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 350
New Shit (Matt) - 350
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 300
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 85
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 55
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 55
Uli Kunkel (Adam) - 55
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 55
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 55
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 15
White Russians (Victor) - 5
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 5
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 0
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 0

Overall Standings:

Creedence Tapes (Chris) - 1540
Vee Vant Ze Money (Andy) - 1485
Is This Your Homework, Larry? (Arlene) - 1120
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Ian) - 1095
New Shit (Matt) - 770
A Roadie for Metallica (Bill) - 545
Bunny Lebowski's Toe (Dallas) - 520
These Men Are Cowards (Paddy) - 495
Obviously You're Not a Golfer (Charlene) - 410
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together (Tomek) - 295
Nice Marmot (Hal) - 290
White Russians (Victor) - 285
Shomer F*cking Shabbas (Donna) - 240
Uli Kunkel (Adam) - 145
Shut the F*ck Up Jonny (Jonny B) - 100
F*ck Sympathy (David S) - 90
That Good Sasparilla (Rachel) - 70
You're Out of Your Element, Jonny (Jonny G) - 65

OTT: Matthew Ryan, Drift

Friday, March 07, 2008

61, or The Idea of White

As in #61 on the list of Stuff White People Like: Bikes.
A good place to find white people on a Saturday is at a Bike Shop. Bike shops are almost entirely staffed and patronized by white people!

But not all white people love bicycles in the same way, there is much diversity. First up, we have the younger urban white folks who absolutely love their fixed gear bicycles. These are seen all over college towns, Silverlake in LA, Williamsburg in Brooklyn, Queen West in Toronto, and Victoria, British Columbia. Fixed gear bicycles meet a lot of requirements for white person acceptance. They can be made from older (i.e. vintage) bicycles, thus allowing the rider to have a unique bike that is unlikely to be ridden by anyone else in town. They are also easily customizable with expensive things Aerospoke rims, Phil Wood Hubs, and Nitto Parts. The combination of rare bicycles and expensive parts makes it easy for white people to judge other white people on the quality and originality of their bicycles. This is important in determining if someone is or isn’t cooler than you.

White people also like Mountain Bikes because it lets them be in nature. It’s really not more complicated than that.

And finally, they love expensive Road Bikes and the accompanying spandex uniforms. This enables them to ride long distances and wear really tight clothes without any social stigmas. These types of riders will spend upwards of $5,000 on a bicycle and up to $400 on accessories, but will not ride to work. Perhaps because they cannot wear the spandex. It is important that you never question why someone needs a $5000 bicycle since the answer is always “performance.”

For the most part, these rules have been unisex. But there is a special category of bicycles that appeal far more to white women, the European city bike (pictured). White women have a lot of fantasies about idealized lives, and one of them is living in Europe and riding around an old city on one of these bikes. They dream about waking up and riding to a little cafe, then visiting bakeries and cheese shops and finally riding home to prepare a fancy meal for their friends who will all eat under a canopy with white Christmas lights. This information can be used to help gain the trust/admiration of a white woman, especially if you can pull off a lie about how your mother told you about how she used to do all of these things when she was younger.

And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say “Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.” Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.
At least we can say we come by it honestly. An interesting site in general. #81 is Graduate School. Check. #78 is Multilingual Children. Check. The Conchords make an appearance in #77, while the neighborhood many of us live in shows up in #73. And on and on. I'm not sure whether it's humorously insightful or kind of disturbing. Probably a bit of both.

Speaking of white people, check this out:

That comment about insightfulness and disturbance. It applies all the more so here. Kinda makes you want to go for a bike ride.

OTT: Midlake, Young Bride

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thursday Anticipation

Startlist (subject to change):

Johnny S
Jonny G
Chris H
Ian H
Hal L
Paul B
David S
Julie T
Gavin F
Brenda S
Haiku Jeff
Bruce P
Bruce's son
Curt F
Dan K
Dan's son
Juan Eppstien
Nick Eppstien

Question marks:

James F
LeAnn F
Alex F

Jonny L
Tinker James
Curt ?
Steven W
Ben K
Funeral Wall
Chris F
Joel F
Joel K

Could be a record turnout. It's not too late to sign on. If seeing the list of all the cool kids who plan to show up gives you a change of heart, drop a comment below.

Schedule of events:

2:30 Registration and team draws at the seeds of life church
3:00 Let the races begin
5:30 back to the clubhouse
- bragging, bitching, awards, rink dogs, wii, byob and a some food of any kind to share
8:00 Duke vs. Carolina

The Tour of Altona Organizing Committee is as follows:

The Duke - race official - team maker/point adder-upper
Paul B - prize committee/awards MC
David S - rink dogger
Johnny S - king of the castle

T minus 85 days:

Finally, the FGBC Spring Classics Pool continues on Saturday with the Monte Paschi Eroica. Startlists here. My team's hopes rest with Allesandro Ballan and Fabian Wegmann. This is an interesting new race. Here's a little preview courtesy of Pez:
Lovers of Paris-Roubaix can get an early fix of off-road action this weekend as the Italians tear up the tarmac for the Monte Paschi Eroica.

The race is based upon the 10year old cyclo tourist event that included a professional category for the first time in 2007.

The “Eroica” (or Heroic) cyclo tourist event is run over gravel roads in the Chianti region of Tuscany and encourages riders to participate on classic era bicycles to capture the heroic spirit of the ride. In a change from 2007, however, the RCS organised events will be split, with the Pro race being held in the spring and the cyclo-tourist event remaining on its traditional calendar spot in October. The Pros of course will not be forced to wrap spare tyres around their shoulders, or wear woollen jerseys to get into the spirit of the race, all of that will be saved for the cyclo-tourists.

Known in Italian as strade bianche (white roads) the seven unsealed gravel sections that form the heart of the unusual event, vary in length from 2.4km up to a butt-busting 13km with the 181km race finishing in Sienna’s famous Piazza del Campo.

PEZ favourite, Magnus Backstedt, was to be making his return to racing at l’Eroica, telling, “I'm not sure what to expect to be honest, but all I'll say is don't expect a 'heroic' ride from me! I just have to ease back into it and get myself used to jumping around again. Paris-Roubaix is my number one goal and I am back on target.” As we went live this morning, however, the big Swede is not on the official start list, so Stuart O’Grady of CSC may have to take the on the responsibilities of “former Paris-Roubaix Winner” in the Italian race.

In all, 120 riders will be contesting the event, won last year by CSC’s Alexandr Kolobnev and one very interested spectator will be The PEZ himself, who will be tackling the cyclo-tourist event over the very same roads later in the year.
CN also has a preview with some more detailed info on the various gravel sections, a race map, elevation chart, etc.

I can't find any decent video of the race, but here's a video of the cyclotourist version, complete with cheesy Italian music, vintage bikes and jerseys, knickers, and old cars. Bellisimo. Or rather, hilarious. Imagine an event that might appeal simultaneously to the Muddy Waters crowd (Colin's favourite bunch), the Friends of the Upper Fort Garry, and the vintage car dudes who hang out on Sundays in the Pony Corral parking lot. Actually--speaking of Colin--here's an idea for the not-so-Muddy Waters ride you've been talking about. There are lots of lovely gravel roads and hills in and around Tinker Creek and the Pembina Valley more generally. That bit from Tinker through to the next 20-30 km after La Rivierre was easily the highlight of Red Ass for me. That and the short naps on the side of the road between Portage and Headingly.

OTT: 16 Horsepower, Outlaw Song

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Tuesday Night in Retrospect

Eight or nine riders
Snaking through the forest trails
Tomek froze his toes

The 3rd annual Tour of Altona goes down on Saturday. The weather for the weekend looks to be shaping up nicely. Everything else is coming together as well. If you're planning to be there but haven't yet responded, let Johnny S know you're coming with an email or a comment below. Provisional startlist coming soon.

OTT: Diego Sandrin, Blanket