The 9 Step Program

Hello, my name is the Dark Lord. And I am a lazy oaf. I am tormented by a general tendency to avoid pain and intense physical efforts at all costs. In fact, I am currently sitting on the couch with a cup of dark caffeinated goodness watching other people ride bikes in the Olympic ITT. It is not painful at all. Some might even think to describe it as super sweet. And yet I feel so dirty. So I am finally ready to admit that I need help. Lots of help. I have tried other programs. But someone tells me this new 9 step program at the bunker is just the thing I need to give this wicked addiction a final kick in the balls. In fact, the brochure says that searing quad and calf pain and a feeling of dizzy disorientation is guaranteed, especially by the time we reach the last couple of laps. Yes, I know it will suck. But I am ready. 9 steps to a harrowing world of hurt. Bring it on.

Big thanks to John B, Jonny G, Graham, Mark, Olli, and especially to Jaron for all the hard work they did to help turn this dream into a reality. It is a great gift to lazy, pain averse people everywhere. You will have an opportunity to check it out for yourself at MennoCross on Sept. 29. That course was already a good one. But it is going to be crazy awesome this year. The new bunker run-up, the flyover, and the return of the big tent ride-through. Holy crap, that is exciting!