Monday, December 13, 2010

Gluttons Cross Eve


Here we go, boys and girls. Our favourite time of the year is finally upon us. Yes, we love ourselves some cyclocross. But at the end of the day, it's all just training for Nordic Cross. This is where the real heroes float to the surface. Belly up, usually.

We have secured a scale and planned a route. We decided last week to lower the minimum weight in an attempt to create a full on sprint for the finish of the buffet stage. The Secretary seemed to think that the previous standard was 650 grams of food per serving. We decided to lower that to 500. We will test to see what that looks like tomorrow and adjust if need be. The goal is to bring five plates within the realm of possibility for someone who can pull off a very special performance. Hipster? As usual, the first plate is a neutral lap. It is your official entry into the race. Each subsequent plate will net you a time bonus. Somewhere between 3 and 5 minutes. We will figure it out before the eating commences. There may well be Little Scrapper primes as well, each of them good for a minute or two.

As for the route, be prepared for a generous portion of river trail. We will explain it a little more clearly during the meal. Bring a good light.

See you tomorrow. 8pm at the East India Company on York St.



13 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I have a feeling we'll be loading up 650g-plates out of habit. And I will be barfing out of habit.

The Dark Lord said...

You will be there? That would be super.

The Dark Lord said...

Maybe we could convince Aaron to show up and "live tweet" it. For the shut-ins.

Anonymous said...

Five plates? dear lord... I am actually terrified of what will happen to my body when I attempt this.

JP said...

I might have missed this... but what time?

The Dark Lord said...

Does it not say 8pm? It should. Because that is the time.

You can do it Mark.

Brad the Impaler said...

This is going to be good.

JP said...

I thought I knew how to read... but my 10 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours has not revived me from my mushy brain! Here;s to being observant! Looking forward to tomorrow!!!

Anonymous said...

This new weight/plate requirement means eating 2500g instead of 1950g. I will have the utmost respect for anyone who can successfully complete this feat.

The Dark Lord said...

Math is hard. Don't focus on that. Just eat.

Gianni said...

This is like the hour record.

500g plates = Superman (or egg, as you prefer) position.

650g plates = Hardman Merckx, "best human effort".

Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

Unrelated but definitely interesting:

Found this video, someone had a bar-mounting video camera at the CX National Championships Masters cat, check it out:

http://www.trackosaurusrex.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry101214-122809