Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Better Dark Red than Dead

It has been a while since we've heard anything from the Dept. of Big Ideas. It's not that they haven't been busy so much as they've been working away quietly behind closed doors, often into the wee hours of the morning. That is about to change. Here is the first in a series of big announcements.

We are very pleased to announce that the FGBC and RRR have decided to recognize more formally what has long been a reality on the ground. We are combining our efforts and forming an alliance that will result in the formation of a brand new team. It will be called Dark Red Racing and will be comprised of those who belong to one of the two clubs. Note the distinction between club and racing team. The clubs will continue to exist very much as they always have. But they will cease to have any formal affiliation with the MCA. Dark Red Racing will be registered for the 2013 season and replace the two existing clubs. When it comes to racing bikes and organizing races, we will now function as a single team. So in some ways, nothing really changes. In other ways, however, there will no doubt be some significant new developments. It may take some time to figure out what, exactly those are. But rest assured, it will be awesome. Very awesome.

Of course, this also means that there will be some new kit. Do not worry, boys and girls. The sweetest jersey in the world isn't going anywhere. It will remain one of the official costumes of this new operation. And you are all encouraged to wear it proudly, whether racing, riding, or just lounging around the house. Those who recently received their new kit are especially encouraged to clothe themselves in darkness as often as possible. It has special powers that take some time to have their effect. The two RRR jerseys will also be recognized as official jerseys of the team. But with the capable assistance of the Cycle Chick, we are also working on a new design that will be a sartorial symbol this new reality. It will debut first of all in the form of a skinsuit that will hopefully be ready in time for the beginning of the 2012 season.

I suppose this also means that the Impaler's favourite red brew might now be recognized alongside our preferred FGD as an official beverage of the team. See what I mean by "significant new developments?" Hold on to your hats, boys and girls.

That's all for now. More big news coming tomorrow.


Altona Bicycle Enthusiast Society said...

Congratulations gentlemen on your new endeavor! So we don't have to consider this a "man crush" anymore?

The Dark Lord said...

Nope. We're just trying to figure out where to hang the "just married" sign. Admittedly, it's not a traditional marriage, whatever that means. Ours has plenty of boys and some pretty awesome girls too.

And most importantly, we still retain a VP Good Times. All is well.

Gianni said...

New shit has come to light.

Anonymous said...

Red neck fits in there somewhere I'm sure....


The Dark Lord said...

There are rednecks among us. But we need more filthy rich rednecks like the guys on Duck Dynasty. That would probably push the good times meter far beyond what it is capable of measuring.