Thursday, December 13, 2007

Coffee Calamity

This coffee is sheit!
Bitter, absent floral notes
Shoot me, don't gag me

There's a coffee conspiracy afoot. At my hallowed knowledge factory, we drink the Equal Exchange fair trade stuff that comes in the golden bags. The same stuff I and many of you drink at home. There is better coffee available, I know, but it's pretty good nonetheless. I stumbled on the troubling situation yesterday afternoon. I'd been noticing for a few weeks already that the coffee's been tasting rather sketchy. And yesterday, as I was preparing a new batch, it struck me that the colour and texture were amiss. Turns out there was some more coarsley ground stuff with a lighter hue mixed in with the fine dark brown grind I regularly wake up dreaming about. Upon further investigation, it became clear that somebody at my place of employ has seen fit to cut the good stuff with Maxwell House. It's about 50-50 as far as I can tell. I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is too. Her projections of innocence and gentility are just a front. But my caffiene-starved glare pierces right through it and descries a wicked, wicked soul. At this point, however, I'm uncertain as to the best course of action this mess calls for. It's not clear to me whether this is primarily an economic issue or a matter of taste preference. But either way, this is an outrage. I am hurting. Feel my pain.

OTT: The Cramps, Bikini Girls With Machine Guns


PaddyH said...

never rub another man's rhubarb, and never eff w/ quality beans....shyte indeed!

seems like someone's asking to be expelled!!!

Anonymous said...

force them to grow a mustache, for a year, maybe two. unless of course this wretched soul is of a female form. well, than, make her grow one too. t

PaddyH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luc said...

I have a mini chainsaw you can borrow...