Sunday, March 04, 2012

24 Hours of Question Marks

We had a new spot on the calendar to contend with. And a new host venue. So we thought it fitting to provide some familiarity by going with a tried and true course out in the Ass. Forest. But Mother Nature countered by giving us the biggest snowfall we've had all year. Needless to say, there was a fair amount of uncertainty about how this here story was about to unfold.

The first lap was hard. We kind of expected that. But decided to test out the route and take it from there. The snow was deep. Hard to go downhill deep. And the loop through the forest was a back crusher of a slog. There was a fair amount of walking.

But we consoled ourselves with the fact that this could be considered an extended training session for riding sandy cyclocross courses. And we convinced ourselves that the second lap would be better after the fat tyred set packed down the trail for the rest of us. So while we made some slight modifications to the course, we decided to keep the forest loop pretty much as it was.

The second lap was in fact easier. But only because it was the first movie lap--Stripes. It was as good as my twelve year old self remembered it to be. Some things never get old. The second lap out on the course was not easier at all. It was harder.

Fortunately we had chips.

And plenty of movies to watch.

Some rode more than others. But then again, those others enjoyed more beer and chips. Everyone seemed happy. Especially the Secretary.

As for the results, there are plenty of question marks here as well. Between the various penalties and bonus laps, there was too much math to figure out anything for certain. For a while, we thought that the BF might have taken the win. A bad back prevented him from getting on his bike. But he amassed a good number of bonus laps by selecting a fine rotation of films, making chili, and generally ensuring that everybody remained in good spirits. Good thing we didn't hand him the bottle of champagne, though. Because it seems he may have missed the mandatory breakfast lap at Sals. Which would mean he didn't so much win as DNF the race. I am not in a position to confirm or disconfirm this suspicion, since I also missed the Sals lap. But in my case, that did not result in a DNF. Because I'd already been booted from the race for succumbing to a short nap during the mandatory Big Lebowski lap. There were a few others who may have nodded off as well. But it was hard to keep track while sleeping.

So whom shall we call the winner? In his first race since the appearance of the leaked memo about his coming over to the Dark Side, Graham put in a fine showing. His older brother thought he had him beat. But between Scott's fat tire penalties and Graham's bonus laps, the Awesome One came out on top.

Cousin Thomas put in a fine showing as well. He only rode one lap. But he put it to good use, spray-painting arrows on the snow so that people like Brad wouldn't get lost. And he suffered a first lap bonk worthy of an entire 24 Hour Race. Which resulted in him getting lost long enough that we considered sending out a search party. But eventually he made it back. And then settled into a film viewing regimen that would made Roger Ebert look like an amateur. All the while sending out tweets so that the shut-ins could follow along from home.

And then there was the head band. He amassed enough bonus points from that thing alone to make it his race to lose.

So let's say Thomas wins the 24 Hours of Bill Murray. Unless Graham or anyone else wants to try and convince us otherwise.

Good times. Special thanks to Tom K for the use of his place. I haven't slept so well in a long time. But it should be noted that the Secretary says anyone who plans to submit a bid to host next year's race will need to have a hot tub on hand. We eagerly await your proposals.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

A) It wasn't a bonk this time. I stopped along the river, saw a bench and a beautiful view so I decided to seize the carp. Not too often I get to ride bike on a gorgeous winter day in Winnipeg.

B) A student looked at my wool and asked "What does FGBC stand for? Effin Good Bible College?"

Thanks a lot Koleslaw - it was an awesome event and I think I speak for everyone when I say that I left full of delicious chili and fond memories of a comfy carpet to lay my face on and get carpet-face.

The Dark Lord said...

That is even better than bonking.

Unknown said...

my apartment has a hot tub and is central... too bad it would not support more than 8 people

the secretary said...

excellent report. The only ommission was the nearly mandatory endo competition. The video report will pick that up, and contain mostly footage of the aforementioned descent debacle. Totally worth the price of the camera.

JP said...

Definitely the Sweeterest Report!