Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Jonny N: Burger King or Blossoming Bulemic?

Having travelled all the way from Seattle for this race, we should have suspected that Jonny N was planning to put in a good showing. But I don't think any of us were ready for the display of consumptive prowess that he put on last night. Jonny M (why is he not linked yet, mr. secretary?) was also targeting this race. And he gave it a solid attempt. But in the end, he was no match for sandle-clad Jonny N. Luc was riding with those two as well, but he never really had a chance. Too little, that guy. Vic's pretty sure he committed a venial sin or two. And then he got burger drunk and started rambling on incoherently, like a guilty 16 year-old after plundering Dad's liquor cabinet, about the starving kids in Africa.

Over in the vegetarian race, Jonny B had his usual mechanical difficulties and DNF'd. Which is good, because the larger order of fries at Super Boys would probably have killed him.

Halberto was along for the ride and some photography. Tinker Tim was there too, after flatting on the way over and missing the start.

The Secretary and the President showed up at the clubhouse for the post-race festivities. After a while, the conversation and the mood both picked up and all of a sudden it was lights on and time to go home.

Finally, it was noted (more than once, and by several different people) that Juan "name me a cuisine" Eppstein was a no-show. And it's not as though he didn't know about it either. The secretary ran into him at the Forks after the RT100 and they talked about it. But he reported that the Curry King was all shifty-eyed and evasive. Weak.


Jonny N (puked)
Jonny M (puked)
Mike G
Jonny G
Kevin K (puked?)
Luc - DNF (puked)
Luke - DNF
Craig - DNF
Jonny B - DNF

As always, pre-race excitement is palpable

First burger. So far, so good.

The champ.

The runner-up.

On the right, the lanterne rouge. It took him
about an hour to polish off that pint, but he got it done.


halloewen said...

fun facts:

calories per burger: 800 to 1200 X 4 = 3200 to 4800.

calories per beer: 250 X 1 to 3 = 250 to 750.

calories burned: a 195 lb cyclist will burn 710 to 1000 per hour depending on speed


juan eppstein said...

It's true, in a chance inopportune meeting at the Forks on Sunday the Secretary (where was he Tuesday?) put my pride and reputation on the line when challenging my committment to show up on Tuesday.
In the end after considering some caloric equations similar to alberto's, combined with moral misgivings in line with Vic's, culminating with a nightmarish vision of a methane cloud in the upper atmosphere with my name on it, I stayed at home and made myself a heaping plate of vegetarian curry.

The Dark Lord said...


g said...

Really weak.

All naysayers must understand that there is no expectation of doing this kind of event weekly, monthly, or even yearly. I don't think many of us are planning on eating three heaping plates of curry on a daily basis either.

A spade is still a spade.

( did throw down the gauntlet. "any cusine") just sayin'

jonny "i am still full and fasting" g

g said...

oh yah...

To be clear...I am never doing that again.

PaddyH said...

wished I was there...

and yet,

glad I wasn't....

PaddyH said...

Naomi says ditto.

juan eppstein said...

mmm... curry.

Anonymous said...

four burgers and a beer!


I love a good fatboy too much to even risk the lingering effects of tossing a couple of those babies.

glad i missed out as well!

Dairy Delight Fatboys Rule BTW.

JohnM said...

i BARELY puked, as hard as i was mostly the beer. those burgers are still weighing me downnnn

which really, is me screwing myself as the whole "you're done when you finish your pint thing" was my idea...worst part of the whole night was trying to chug that thing.

btw, i gotta say that the superboy was the tastiest of the bunch.