Monday, February 15, 2010


No, we didn't forget about the action in the FGBC CX Pool. It's just that Sloth Cross took a lot of time and energy. And besides, it's hard to get motivated about writing another report of Jay winning.

Yes, Jay won again. He racked up another 370 points. That's 200 points more than the Lethbridge Chapter totaled between the two of them.

Now look Jay. We've never met. I'm sure you're a good guy and all. The BCC seems like the kind of club the FGBC would get along nicely with. Much better than those RRR punks anyway. I hear some of you have even started riding your bikes in the snow. But do you also have a spot on the Canadian women's hockey team? What else could explain the brazen and relentless need for dominating and humiliating your opposition? We have consulted at the klubhaus. And a few of us caucused again at the poosher's palace this past weekend between movies. It is time to level with you. We are glad you have joined our little vicarious racing thing. But this reign of terror and ruination to which you have subjected the rest of us is getting to be enough. You have made your point. In fact, the point was made several weeks ago. The savage beat down you've laid upon Gary was fun to watch for a while. We play hockey. What's a little assault between friends, eh? But now it's starting to feel gross and sickening. Gary feels badly enough. He's turtled. His body has gone limp. He can barely see through the tears. And if you knew Gary, you'd know that he takes this whole seeing business pretty seriously. He is really a decent guy, especially for someone who doesn't regularly don the sweetest jersey in the world. He puts on great cx races. In fact, the only thing better than the cx races he comes up with are the prizes he gives away at them. That and the cx races that we put on. So let's not kick a man when he's down, okay? As you head into the last few races of the season, just ask yourself "what would Don Cherry do?" I'm not saying you shouldn't relish your victory. It was impressive, and we were all rooting for you there for a while. But just tone it down a little bit. This is a family show. There are kids in the pool.

Brad and Olli tied for second with 350 points apiece. There is no change to the overall standings. Oh, and Matt still hasn't cracked the 10,000 point mark. But he's just 50 points shy. It looks like he's going to do it.

Full results here.


co2cycle said...

That was some inspired, Canadian-style slam-poetry, but Jay cannot be stopped.
Take that you hosers.

nosmith said...

I was thinking more like what would John Candy and Rhea Perlman do? Maybe Chris and I can hatch another plot to halt the invasion ie propel a takeover of the FGBC Tour pool. But really after the beating I got in the last Tour and Vuelta pools I was due some measure of success. And given my recent cross season and beginning to the road season vicariously racing may be my future ticket to cycling stardom. Sorry Gary. Oh and no Canadian hockey for me although I spend several weeks of my year in Northern Ontario at Deer Lake riding the washboard and snowmobile trails and catching pike all with maximal bug repellent and bear spray. We have contemplated taking a long route home one year via Sault Ste. Marie but perhaps we could venture further West through Thunder Bay and hit FGBC for some sweet Canadian summer riding. Cheers!

The Dark Lord said...

You are welcome to ride with us any time, Jay. Maybe the BCC should consider sending a team to the 24 hour race we are putting on. We could give Linus a Guy Maddin tour of Winnipeg.

If nothing else, you can win back our favour by recruiting Ali and some others to join in on the Spring Classics pool.