Wednesday, December 16, 2009

TNR Report


Good times. As always.

But tonight promises to be even better. The Impaler is going to kick Pitcher's ass. That should be fun to watch. The FGBC will be there, as will RRR. We have, however, become increasingly aware of the need to sort out the matter of appearance fees. We are all too happy share our general awesomeness for the good of the local cycling scene. But it only seems fitting that we receive a little something in return for our efforts. The benefits of the 2009 FGBC-RRR FGD Challenge to the wider cycling community are undeniable. And yet with the symbolic slap in the face we received by being shut out of the recent MCA Awards, we are no longer willing to let ourselves be brazenly used in this ungrateful manner. The time to take action is now. While some have advocated a full-scale boycot, we have decided, for the time being, to continue to show up at races and such. But it will cost you a couple of cases of FGD per event, one for the FGBC and one for RRR. We are also working on a tiered scale that would sort out what level of remuneration might be appropriate for less than full FGBC/RRR participation. And, of course, some of us are more costly than others. The president, for example, can make an event awesome all by himself. Others can be had a little more cheaply. This will allow promoters to tailor their event to create the particular vibe they are after. Is it simply numbers you're after or quality of entertainment? The secretary will draft a document, which will be made available through our public relations dept. That office is currently being managed by Brad the Impaler on behalf of the newly amalgamated FRRGBC.

17 comments:

KK said...

g - shoot me an email

kkilbreiathotmaildotcom

the secretary said...

We will begin on the draft shortly. I expect a formula that will incorporate website traffic with cycling prowess which will then be cross-referenced to general coolness. I've also thought that showmanship should be a factor, and that will require calculations going beyond coolness and including the potential for crashing, because everyone loves a good crash. So, the fact that we know someone who is the winner of a butterbelt and also broke a limb on a small hill with a suspended 1979 motocross bicycle means we may need sharpen our pencils. Shouldn't be hard. Anyone know a actuary working for free these days?

While this may not be the place, I would like to raise a point of concern with the FRRRGBC. This amalgamation leans too heavily on the racing teams that make up the FGBC. Our appearance fee is more complex. It leans too heavily on cycling prowess only. Yes, this may be confusing to some readers, but FGBC refers to both an ueberklub and a racing team. People who just show up at races and do well (ie. ringers) do not make us what we are. I maintain that the RRR is basically a racing team. The FGBC (understood as a non-racing entity), is a way of being. And Steve Miller sucks.

Brad the Impaler said...

We are so much more than just a racing team. Our annual Fall Ride, (which has been on hiatus for a couple of years) actually ran for 14 consecutive years, predating the FGBC spring ride by several years. At that time we only had one racer, Mike 'the bike' Giesbrecht. In fact our club being named Red River Racing was a bit of a stretch for quite some time. We currently do more racing and less casual riding, but that's a phase. We are a club first, racing team second.
And while I am not a huge fan, Steve Miller doesn't suck.

the secretary said...

Thanks Brad, A good brief history of the RRR. I was only calling what I was observing. Perhaps it is useful to note that what is RRR has been welcomed to the FGBC Spring Ride, and I may stand corrected, but the reverse is not, thus far, true. And, I will, in the spirit of the season, amend my words to: Steve Miller offends my personal musical sensibilites.

The Dark Lord said...

Stick with Steve Miller sucks. Nobody really cares about your personal musical sensibilities. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

the secretary said...

no fear, I have every intention of returning to Steve Miller sucks after Christmas.

Brad the Impaler said...

It's been a couple or three years since our last Fall Ride. About as long as I have been joining the Spring Ride. The welcome has been much appreciated. If and when our Fall Ride is resurrected, I am pretty sure I speak for all of us in saying that any and all FGBC affiliates far and wide will be welcome. After all, the same elements are present: epic riding, epic eating, epic fire looking at, epic eating, sort of epic beer drinking, epic eating and epic lounging. Things we all hold dear.

the secretary said...

you've overlooked epic crashing, but I think it was in the spirit of your note. Otherwise, it's a fairly accurate description. :) Just as a footnote, I wasn't looking for an invitation...

Brad the Impaler said...

Ah yes. Epic crashing. The no-rear-brake-cause-the-rear-wheel-was-tacoed-in-an-earlier-crash-grab-the-front-brake-and-go-over-the-bars-and-toss-the-bike-with-your-feet-as-your-face-contacts-the-hard-dry-clay move on JET trail in Riding Mountain NP at about 40 KM per hour will go down as one of the all time best crashes I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Spectacular. I have never seen a bike fly so far. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. But no ambulatory rescue required. A good thing too. That is a long way out in the bush.
My contributions to crashing lore at this year's Spring Ride were much less showy, but still painful and embarassing.

The Dark Lord said...

All of this is important. But it is merely prefatory. It is valuable only in so far as it is generative of what finally matters most--the art of epic bullshit. Talking about the spring ride is in many ways more important than the spring ride itself.

And this helps to explain the significance of this whole business of appearance fees. When the FGBC shows up at a race, your event lives on long after the race venue has been cleaned up. Indeed, the lifespan might conceivably be extended indefinitely, depending on what the President does. That is why his fees are so much higher.

KK said...

Ah yes...epic (shitty) rides in Riding Mtn., couch rides through gravel pits near Luther Village. Good times.

I recall suggesting a fall weekend ride/event at Victoria Beach in the tradition of the annual RRR fall ride early in the season, but was gently reminded that cyclocross comes before all else. Perhaps I should have talked to one the social club members rather than a racing member.

I'll make the same invitation once the 2010 CX schedule has been released. Hopefully a weekend that will appease all can be found if this is of interest.

Kevin B said...

if we have to factor in appearance fees for 2010, Back 40 reg $ might be sky high. worth every penny I am sure.

The Dark Lord said...

The cost of 2 cases, spread over 80+ people? I think you can handle it. It only seems fair to let the hoi polloi pay for the spike in awesomeness that the FRRGBC is capable of bringing to the table.

tinker t said...

I think we (Tinkerites)could swing a case of beer for each of the FRRRGBC clubs providing they live up to their reputation, be it real or imagined, and sweep the podium for their respective categories. Who knows, maybe we request a bottle of beer to be included with all entries ( or at least those in the new founded beer league) and winner takes all??

Anonymous said...

Brad says:
"...sort of epic beer drinking..."

to which I say:
buy me a pint and I'll show you epic beer drinking.

I'm so serious.

Hope all was fun and safe tonight at the BC.

The Dark Lord said...

Whoa, Tim. Nobody said anything about the podium. It's more along the lines of entertainment value. You obviously have never ridden with the President. He has a knack for the tragic like nobody you've ver met. But he always finds a way to make it comedic in the end. So everybody goes home happy. Or Jonny G. That guy will always leave you smiling. We are also willing to supply that lonely rider who gets dropped eraly on in a crit. This way, the spectators have something to focus on between laps of the leaders. You don't want to lose their attention. There isn't that much action in the end. We are not above taking one for the team. But it all depends on what you race organizers are after. Just don't look to us for winning races. That's not really our thing. Our podium dreams are focused squarely on the vicarious races.

the secretary said...

you get used to 23rd place after a while.