Monday, January 25, 2010

Wrath Cross Report

That was either the best Nordic Cross race ever or by far the worst. It is too early to tell at this point. But a few things are clear already at this early juncture in the work of reminiscence. Wrath Cross was a misnomer. It was not so much wrath that was on display as attempted murder. By that I mean it wasn't so much Nordic Cross as Operación MUERTO. The Impaler had us out there for a long, hard slog. Which made clear what some of us have suspected all along. Brad the Impaler is a crafty little devil.

Jonny G, Juan Eppstein and I elected to ride over to el Casa Sénior KK Sr. That presented us with the first obstacle. Jonny G dropped his chain and twisted a few links, which in turn made his chain far too enthusiastic about jumping off the chainring. It did this several times before we stopped to tighten things up a bit.

That worked well, but set us back a bit. The second obstacle occurred when we got to the Marconi trail only to discover it unplowed. Raleigh Rd. proved adequate for a while. But after watching several cars slide through intersections and experiencing a few near misses of our own, we opted for a more residential route. We arrived safely and only a little late. The Impaler had some warm Lab Lite waiting to be consumed as official entry into the race. Lovely.

This gave us a little time to watch the Vikings attempt to tie the football game in the dying seconds of the 4th quarter. We missed the final outcome, however, as the race organizer decided it was race time and turned off the television. At this point, Vic had to summon all the composure he could muster in order to hold himself together. He was determined not to be brought to anger. And he survived. But just barely.

The rules required us to genuflect in honour of the RRR jersey or else face a lengthy penalty lap. The sweetest jersey in the world is a source of pride for the FGBC. But then again, pride is equally sinful. So we let it go and fell prostrate before the Impaler. It wasn't that hard. It is, after all, in FGBC colours. This seemed to give him a certain amount of pleasure.

And then it was time to hit the course.

One neutral pre-lap and then 3 more to complete the race. Or at least that's what we were told at the start. Upon completion of the first lap, Brad deemed the course much better than he'd expected and announced that we'd ride 6 more laps. This seemed a little odd, since the course was not entirely rideable to begin with. And it didn't exactly get any better as the race wore on. Halberto got off to an early lead and never looked back. Graham was on his tail for a while. But after getting lost more than once, he faded from contention. Brad held on for a long time, spinning a small gear, before he cited back issues and headed for the race HQ, where KK, Jonny G, Vic, and Juan were waiting, having already quit the race. Halberto, Graham, Tom and I stuck it out to finish the full race. This did not prove to be a wise decision.

Back at the finish, the final results were a little mysterious.

But they only got more mysterious when the Impaler announced that for Wrath Cross, the finish order is reversed. I think it went something like this.

Jonny G
Tom K

Everyone received prizes, except for Juan Eppstein. He was left in a black hole of sorts and wound up, well, somewhat angry. Which seemed like a good way to end it. And so we retired to some Strange Brew and highlights of the football game we missed in order to finish off the evening.

Tom K shot some video. Perhaps this will help us reach a final verdict on the Impaler's first organizational effort. Either way, it will be remembered.

After two rounds, the 2010 Nordic Cross standings are as follows:

Juan 17
Vic 14
Brad 13
Olli 9
KK 9
Jonh Paul 8
Jonny G 8
Jonny B 6
Darryl 5
Tom K 5
Graham 4
Chris 3
Hal 2

Next race: Sloth Cross, Feb. 13-14. The race HQ will be the Poosher's Palace.


Tom K said...

I am sooo angry after last night's slogfest! Well done Brad - you evil evil man!

I do have some good pics and video and will make a post tonight on our new Training Coop Blog Spot:

Olli said...

I'm pretty angry too. I had to drywall our kitchen ceiling before the opening had its first anniversary and couldn't make it to NK.

It looks sweet though...