Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thursday Anticipation

1) Two more sleeps!

We are ready. We have a course. A roster of films. And some rules. Let's begin with the rules. We have nine rules so far. There will no doubt be more by the time the race starts. The editor will be there, after all. And we all know she loves her rules almost as much as she loves her moustache. There may well be still more rules by the time the race is finished on Sunday morning. Sometimes things come up.

1) The entry fee is $20.
2) You must be at the poosher's palace by 9:30 am on Saturday. If you don't know where that is, send us an email. If we like you, we will tell you how to find us.
3) Everyone is required to bring at least 500 g of chips.
4) Nobody is allowed to bring peanuts or peanut-related products.
5) The Big Lebowski lap is mandatory. It begins at midnight. If you miss it or nod off at any point, you DNF the entire race.
6) You can race by watching films. That is what makes it Sloth Cross. The rate is 1 lap per hour, rounded down. For example, if a film is 1 hour and 45 minutes, you get 1 lap. If it is 2 hours and 13 minutes, you get 2 laps. Note that a film must be watched in its entirety in order to count. Should you nod off at any point during a film, you get no credit for that film. People will be watching.
7) You can run a lap (or even the whole race) if you must. We do not recommend it, however. In fact, we actively discourage it. Running is hard and is to be attempted only when absolutely necessary. Should you feel yourself compelled to run, however, your efforts will be recognized--more out of pity than admiration. You are not a hero. Each lap completed on foot will count for two.
8) If you miss the race on account of skiing or some other such second rate activity, it is quite possible that disciplinary action will ensue. The Dept. of Punitive Measures will convene at some point during the race to consider this grave matter on the eventuality that it should arise.
9) Sloth Cross is the 4th race of the 2011 Nordic Cross Series. Double points are being awarded for this race--50 points for the win, 45 for 2nd, 40 for 3rd, and then down by 2 points for each subsequent placing.

Current standings after three races (Gluttony, Greed, Envy):

Chris 67
Craig 67
Jonny G 47
Ian 45
Graham 40
Brad 32
JP 19
Dave E 19
Tomek 19
KK 18
Hal 18
Darryl 15
Charlene 14
Tom K 0
Liam 0
Lindsay 0
Mark 0
Thomas 0
Vic 0

Last year's results for Sloth Cross looked like this:

1. Chris - 17.5 laps
2. Kevin - 14.5
3. Jonny G - 14.5
4. Tom K - 14.5
5. Brad - 11
6. Vic - 10.5
7. Unger - 10
8. Juan Eppstein - 10
9. Darryl - 9.5
10. Scott - 9
11. Tomek - 8.5
12. Craig - 8
13. Liam - 5
14. Colin - 5
15. Adam - 4.5
16. Jonny B - 3.5
17. Thomas - 3.5
18. Olli - 1
19. Solomon - 1
20. Hal - 1
21. Ian - 1
22. Nick - 1
23. Luke 1

For the films, the draft program stands. But we decided to include everything on the alternate list as well. This will give us more films than we can watch in 24 hours. That is what we like about it. The process of determining which film to watch is part of the race. We will address that matter at the pre-race meeting.

Check back later today for the map of the course.

Finally, if you have forgotten how awesome this is going to be, check out the movie of the inaugural edition five years ago. That was the year of the moustache, the chinsicle, and the microwave dogfest. You will have to supply your own soundtrack, because they killed the audio. Maybe the Secretary will fix that.

To revisit the three most recent editions, visit the FGBC home video archive.

2) 2011 FGBC Spring Classics Pool

There is one other item to mention this week. The FGBC's Dept. of Low Stakes Gambling is buzzing with excitement. This is the last weekend of the 2010-11 FGBC CX Pool. The last race of the season is on Wednesday. Perhaps even more exciting than the close finish of this six month competition is the fact that vicarious cobbles are just around the coner. The Spring Classics season begins next Saturday, Feb. 26. The pool will be launched next week.

Top 10 from last year:

LeAnn 6950
Dan 5360
Adam 5185
Matt 5110
Jonny B 5060
Tom 4765
Hal 4615
Pete 4555
Jonny G 4530
Charlene 4490


Tom K said...

20 Cdn Bucks ready ... let the good times roll! Should be a blast all around again this year at Tomek's funky place - thanks Poosher.

Hey Darryl: I'll wear my two GoPro cameras for the media lap & Bfast lap, but do not plan to make a movie unless requested. I'll pass my SD cards to you for copying if you wish. Let me know bud.

Olli said...

Sounds like crappy times so I arranged my spare time coordinator to schedule an exciting trip to the neighboring neighboring province. Maybe I'll stop by to send you guys on to your icy path.