TNR Report

Happy Birthday Luke. That was fun.





We still showed up at the klubhaus for a bit. That was fun too. Especially when Jonny G fell off his bike as we were about to leave.

TNR

There is a birthday boy among us. He invited us over to help him celebrate. We will oblige.

9:30 pm at my place.

We Heart Vic

Troy conceded more ground today. He laid a goose egg and now his lead is down to just 145 points. Poor Troy. But it could be worse. He could be Vic. Vic is currently working on a truly impressive feat. In ten races, he has not scored a single point. Perhaps this explains why neither he nor anyone else caught the fact that he was mistakenly omitted from the overall standings for the first nine races. Maybe we were unwittingly doing him a favour by failing to publicize this rather dubious distinction. But that oversight has now been corrected and he now sits in last place for all the world to see. How much longer will his streak of goose eggs grow? Check back tomorrow to see if he makes it 11 in a row.

The Halfrican and I did not lay goose eggs. That is because we had the wisdom to select the young Slovak phenom, Peter Sagan, for our pool teams. He won today and gave us 350 points each. So I am now within striking distance of Troy. And Pete is within striking distance of the podium. He now sits just 30 points behind the third spot that is currently being occupied by King Andy. The J-Train finished third today with 90 points. He is in fifth overall, 140 points back of Pete.

Full results and overall standings here.

Philippe Who?

Remember last year when Gilbert won any race he entered? So far this year, he has exactly 0 points. My boyfriend's totals are less than stellar too. Which is to say, those who went with Options 1 and 2 are not exactly flourishing in the 2012 FGBC Spring Classics Pool. Things could change yet, but so far it looks like Option 3 was the right one.

Troy didn't exactly get sacked in Gent-Wevelgem. But at least we sent a message. With top-seven finishes from Sagan, Boasson Hagen, Bennati, and Marcato, I got 900 points to win the race. The Halfrican finished second with 745 points. And Mike H rounded out the podium with 670 points.

Troy got just 460 points. He still has a healthy lead. But at 495 points, all of a sudden he looks beatable. Especially after he conceded almost that many points in Gent-Wevelgem alone.

Watch the highlights:



Full results and overall standings here.

The Three Days of Depanne are up next, starting tomorrow. This is a chance for some of the lower-ranked riders to shine.

The Sacking of Troy

A long time ago in a faraway land, a city called Troy seemed to have everything going for it. But it got a little bit too cocky and eventually it was time for Troy to receive its comeuppance. Things did not end well for Troy. But Justice, she was left smiling like Germaine, the 66 year old podium girl at E3 Harelbeke, after she got to kiss Tom Beans.


There are some among us who think it's time for Troy to receive some comeuppance in the 2012 FGBC Spring Classics Pool. Troy won his first race of the season yesterday at Harelbeke. He had 800 points, thanks to Boonen, Duque, and Degenkolb, and finished easily ahead of Kim and Mike G. But the bigger story is in the overall standings, where Troy now leads King Andy by 840 points. Needless to say, the King is not impressed. So watch out Troy. If you see a large wooden horse galloping across the horizon, it might be a good idea to run for cover.

Gent - Wevelgem goes down on Sunday. King Andy needs to make a statement. It should be interesting to watch.

Full results and overall standings here.

Cobbles for Breakfast

The cobbled classics season starts today with the E3 Harelbeke. The race gets its name from a highway and doesn't exactly scream AWESOME. But the organizers have tried to compensate for that with an interesting series of billboards placed along that highway and others in Belgium. Last year they went with the tried and true advertising formula in which the podium girl lost her clothes.


It seems that resulted in too many crashes. So this year they tried something a bit different: less podium girl and more podium Oma.


Read the story here.

The E3 Harelbeke serves to get everyone primed for the Tour of Flanders next weekend and Paris-Roubaix the following. My boyfriend was the first to arrive at the finish line in Harelbeke in each of the past two editions of the race. Can he make it three in a row? Watch the race to find out.

Live streaming options here.

Dwars Door Vlaanderen

Ben wins it with 265 points. Adam and Joe tied for second. They had 200 points each.

Troy continues to lead the overall race. But King Andy has moved into second place. And the Impaler now sits in third overall.

Full results and overall standings here.

TNR Report

It was another brisk ride. So brisk, in fact, that we didn't have any time for photos. KK must have had a bad day at work, because he whipped up a storm at the front of the group. And it never really slowed down. Until we got stuck in some mud. Apparently, it isn't quite as dry as we thought it was. So we cut the ride short and headed back to the klubhaus on an equally brisk pace. It is a good thing we did, because our early arrival allowed us to catch Unger and Phillie before they were able to sneak away after reporting for the early shift.

Given the lengthy slate of agenda at last week's meeting, we really had little official business to discuss. And given the Secretary's absence, we actually left before they kicked us out the door.

The Impaler failed to show up to provide us with an account of his recent whirlwind trip to Georgia. That was sad. Story time with the Impaler is one of our favourite things in the world.

The tunes were nondescript. I can't remember a single one.

And finally, it is spring. So we are officially in the season of the Spring Ride. How sweet is that?

TNR

We may as well ride. Maybe embrace our inner ninjas too.

9:30 pm at my place.

Vicarious MSR

Well, that was exciting. If you weren't able to watch it live, make sure to watch the exciting final 7 kms. It really captures what makes this race so special. Is it a sprinters race? A climbers race? Or somewhere in between? The answer is yes.

My boyfriend cam up a few inches short in the real race. But I won the vicarious one. So in the end, it was a pretty good day for the two of us. With contributions from Sagan, Degenkolb, Bennati, Leukemans, Boasson Hagen, and Marcato, I wound up with 1225 points and moved up from 23rd place to a share of 2nd place with Chris O. Troy had a very good day as well, finishing second with 1115 points. And Joe rounded out the podium with 800 points. Since Troy was already sitting close to the top of the standings, he now has a very big lead in the overall race. 550 points, to be exact. Fortunately for the rest of us, it's the Spring Classics Pool and ground can be gained or lost in a hurry.

Full results and overall standings here.

White Horse Road Ride

Leaving from my place at 4pm.

Right On

Thanks to the Halfrican for pointing this out.

And thanks to Lawrence for doing such a fine job on the jerseys. See also his blog post about the jerseys here.

Thursday Anticipation: Special Friday Edition

On April 20, in the middle of the night, the Dark Side will travel out to Falcon Lake to blanket the town with these posters. They are good folk down there and they deserve a heads up about what a big deal the Spring Ride is.

Who's up for a road ride this weekend? Something will happen. We're just not sure exactly what or when. But post something on the blog if you have a plan and are looking for someone to ride with.

TNR Report

There was fire. It was awesome.

There was also an appearance from the President. This resulted in a rather long list of agenda items being brought up for discussion. It would be foolish to try and summarize it all. But rest assured that everything is under control.

It was also our first ride on the pavement in a long time. Clearly there was some pent up energy that did not get expended during the short winter. The pace was brisk.

Nokere Koerse Report

There were a lot of goose eggs laid at this mid-week cobbled race. 35 of them, to be exact. Only Anna and Eryn scored points. Anna got 150 points from Maxime Vantomme. And Eryn had 350 points today thanks to Francesco Chicchi taking the win. Congratulations Eryn!

No big changes to the overall standings. We won't be able to say that on Saturday. It's the first of the four monuments. With 500 points for the win, there are plenty of points up for grabs and the standings are sure to receive a significant shakeup.

Heading into Milan - San Remo, the overall standings look like this.

IceTT Poster

Had we known the IceTT would go down last week, we'd have had the following poster. We will share it anyway, just because it is so awesome.

TNR

It is messy out there. Where should we ride?

Bring your ideas to my place at 9:30 pm.

Thursday Anticipation

11 more weeks? That is nothing.

In case you missed it . . .

We stopped following the Training Co-op with any sort of regularity when the ultimate fighting coverage surpassed cycling-related confabulation by a margin larger than any self-respecting bike club could be expected to tolerate. We do, however, check in from time to time. And it's a good thing we do. Because otherwise we would have missed this video of Cousin Thomas doing what Cousin Thomas does. If anyone needed any confirmation that he is worthy winner of the 24 Hours of Bill Murray this past weekend, this should put the question to rest.

Video Report from the 24hr Race

TNR Report

It did not start out well. The Hipster broke a chain on the ride over to the Forks.



Fortunately, the four of us who were riding with him managed to cobble together everything we needed to get it fixed. Bill supplied the light. Jonny G supplied the chain tool. I contributed some spare chain links. And Brandon, in what was perhaps the biggest contribution of them all, found a can of FGD in his pack.

It took a little while, but we got it fixed and continued on our way.





The river trail was in perfect shape. Perfect for riding, at least. Not so perfect for skating. So after a brief consultation in the warming hut, we decided we better take advantage of the conditions and hold the annual IceTT.




It was shorter than usual. But it hurt just the same. Possibly even more. Or at least differently. Last year the pain arrived courtesy of a series of crashes on the freshly flooded ice. This year the snow cover allowed us actually to ride fast, so the pain migrated from knees and elbows into the legs and lungs.

The results are as follows:

Chris - 6:30
Craig - 6:40
Bill - 6:50
Mark - 6:59
Jonny G - 7:00
Vic - 7:22
Brandon - 7:39
Scott - 7:56
KK - 8:00 (apparently fat bikes are not ideal ITT rigs; no fat bike penalty necessary)

Back at the klubhaus, we feasted on left over chips from the weekend. The BF told us about his plans to start a brewery. The Impaler told us some things that were Rated RRR. Graham told us that his real reason for joining the Dark Side was so that he might have a chance of winning the Butter Belt. The Summer of Graham? It could happen. Lisa told us things we'd rather not have been told. And the management told us how much they love the fact that we love each other so much. At least that's how we interpreted the soundtrack for the evening, which consisted of Culture Club, George Michael and an assortment of other conspicuously homoerotic tunes.

Breaking News

We just received the following memo from the Accommodations Director:

Spring Ride is booked at Falcon. Details:
May 25 – 27.
Falcon group use (far bay).
Paid up for the first 20 people, then $14.7 per night for additional.

How sweet is that?

TNR

It has been a while since we rode on the river trail. Looking at the forecast for the weekend, it looks very much like tonight might be our last chance to do that. Which makes our decision about where to ride fairly easy.

9:30 pm at my place.

Strade Bianche Report

My boyfriend and I had a difficult conversation a few years back. We decided it was best if I didn't pick him for my pool teams. Fabs said he didn't need any added pressure. That's too bad. Because yesterday was one of those days when those who built their team around him were rewarded. In fact, it was one of those days where those who didn't build their teams around him should be worried. Very worried. It is too early to tell of course. But the way he rode away from everybody suggests he might be on form to repeat the show of force that was 2010.

Chris O won the vicarious Strade Bianche. He had 600 points thanks to Fabs and Ballan. How much more would he have had if Ballan didn't take a wrong turn with a few kms to go? I suppose we will never know. Lyle picked up 535 points to finish second. That is good. We were starting to wonder whether he might lay a goose egg for the whole Spring Classics Pool. He won't. He now has 535 points overall. In third place was Mike G with 410 points. A few years ago, Mike set the vicarious racing world on fire the way Fabs did in 2010 for the real racing scene and Gilbert did last year. Do we have the old Mike back in 2012? That would be fun. We miss him.

In the overall race, we've had a change at the very top of the standings. Brad the Impaler is the new leader. He has 1185 points. Troy has dropped down to second overall. He is exactly 100 points behind Brad. Jason is only 60 points back of Troy. Behind the top three, people are lining up to take their shots. Andy, Jonny G, and Chris O are all within striking distance. Each of them is just one good race away from the overall lead.

We'll have to wait awhile before we see if they can make a move. The next race is the Nokere Koerse on March 14. Right now it's early season stage racing time. Paris-Nice is currently underway. And the so-called Race of the Two Seas, Tirreno Adriatico, starts on Wednesday. This would be a good time to do a little advance scouting for the 2012 Giro and TdF Pools.

Full results and overall standings here.

24 Hours of Question Marks

We had a new spot on the calendar to contend with. And a new host venue. So we thought it fitting to provide some familiarity by going with a tried and true course out in the Ass. Forest. But Mother Nature countered by giving us the biggest snowfall we've had all year. Needless to say, there was a fair amount of uncertainty about how this here story was about to unfold.

The first lap was hard. We kind of expected that. But decided to test out the route and take it from there. The snow was deep. Hard to go downhill deep. And the loop through the forest was a back crusher of a slog. There was a fair amount of walking.





But we consoled ourselves with the fact that this could be considered an extended training session for riding sandy cyclocross courses. And we convinced ourselves that the second lap would be better after the fat tyred set packed down the trail for the rest of us. So while we made some slight modifications to the course, we decided to keep the forest loop pretty much as it was.

The second lap was in fact easier. But only because it was the first movie lap--Stripes. It was as good as my twelve year old self remembered it to be. Some things never get old. The second lap out on the course was not easier at all. It was harder.

Fortunately we had chips.



And plenty of movies to watch.



Some rode more than others. But then again, those others enjoyed more beer and chips. Everyone seemed happy. Especially the Secretary.



As for the results, there are plenty of question marks here as well. Between the various penalties and bonus laps, there was too much math to figure out anything for certain. For a while, we thought that the BF might have taken the win. A bad back prevented him from getting on his bike. But he amassed a good number of bonus laps by selecting a fine rotation of films, making chili, and generally ensuring that everybody remained in good spirits. Good thing we didn't hand him the bottle of champagne, though. Because it seems he may have missed the mandatory breakfast lap at Sals. Which would mean he didn't so much win as DNF the race. I am not in a position to confirm or disconfirm this suspicion, since I also missed the Sals lap. But in my case, that did not result in a DNF. Because I'd already been booted from the race for succumbing to a short nap during the mandatory Big Lebowski lap. There were a few others who may have nodded off as well. But it was hard to keep track while sleeping.

So whom shall we call the winner? In his first race since the appearance of the leaked memo about his coming over to the Dark Side, Graham put in a fine showing. His older brother thought he had him beat. But between Scott's fat tire penalties and Graham's bonus laps, the Awesome One came out on top.

Cousin Thomas put in a fine showing as well. He only rode one lap. But he put it to good use, spray-painting arrows on the snow so that people like Brad wouldn't get lost. And he suffered a first lap bonk worthy of an entire 24 Hour Race. Which resulted in him getting lost long enough that we considered sending out a search party. But eventually he made it back. And then settled into a film viewing regimen that would made Roger Ebert look like an amateur. All the while sending out tweets so that the shut-ins could follow along from home.

And then there was the head band. He amassed enough bonus points from that thing alone to make it his race to lose.



So let's say Thomas wins the 24 Hours of Bill Murray. Unless Graham or anyone else wants to try and convince us otherwise.

Good times. Special thanks to Tom K for the use of his place. I haven't slept so well in a long time. But it should be noted that the Secretary says anyone who plans to submit a bid to host next year's race will need to have a hot tub on hand. We eagerly await your proposals.

A Few Things

First, and most importantly, everyone must bring two bags of chips. There will be no exceptions.

Second, the location is 206 Athlone Dr.

The first lap begins at 10am sharp.

Fat bike penalties will be applied. There will also be penalties for being very un-Dude. There may be some bonus points awarded. Expect some element of randomness.

Anything else, drop a comment below.

Thursday Anticipation

I can't remember. Is there something going on this weekend?

I have my bike ready just in case.

Le Samyn Results

Here.

Up next: we take to the white gravel roads of Italy on Saturday. This is one worth watching.

Let's find some movies

It's movie finding time.  

So far we have confirmed that these movies have been found and will be coming with these dudes:

Mark Reimer:

- Darjeeling limited

- Life Aquatic

- Royal Tenenbaums

- Rushmore

Thomas:

- Ghostbusters 1 and 2

- Lost in Translation

- Groundhog Day

This next list is of movies that we still need to find:

- Stripes

- Caddy Shack

- Quick Change

- What about Bob?

- King Pin

- Zombieland

- Wild Things

- Charlie's Angels

- Fantastic Mr. Fox

- Get Low

- Little Shop of Horrors

- The Razor's Edge

(feel free to add any other Bill Murray movie that you'd like)

A few dudes have offered to help with the download process.  If you are going to download a movie, identify it in the comments below and I will assume that it will be taken care of.  You can leave the movies on your USB sticks (make sure they are .avi files) or burn them to DVD.

Thanks.

Classics Pool Teams

Check out the competition here.

TNR

9:30 pm at my place.

It's the last ride before the 24 Hour Race this weekend. We have a couple of things to settle:

1) The Course. Brad the Impaler, Jonny G, and I have plenty of good ideas. But we are also a little bit stuck as to which of them is best. Tonight we will get unstuck. Probably after testing out some of the route options during the ride. It may come down to a vote at the klubhaus. Or perhaps a cage match.

2) Movie acquisition. Lyle and Tom K are heading up this initiative. But they'd like to know what, if anything, we already have. I have the Big Lebowski, so that's settled. But take a look at the list of the Bill Murray movies below. If you have any of them, please drop a comment below so that we can strike that task from the To Do List. Lyle thanks you in advance.

Stripes
Caddy Shack
Ground Hog Day
Ghost Busters
Rushmore
The Royal Tenenbaums
Life Aquadic Aquatic
Lost in Translation
What about Bob?
King Pin

Classics Pool Update

First we get schooled by a punk-ass seven year old in the CX Pool. Now we are getting schooled in the Classics Pool by a couple of rookies who haven't yet had their date with the Dark Side's Dept. of Hazing and Other Miscellaneous Initiatives That Are Best Kept Secret. This aggression will not stand, man.

Jason took the win at Het Nieuwsblad on Saturday, finishing ahead of Andy and Troy. Brad and Jonny G drew a line in the sand and crossed the finish line holding hands to claim a victory for the Old Guard on Sunday.

But after the first two races of the season, the leader of the 2012 FGBC Spring Classics Pool is Troy. Congratulations Troy! Now, can you please introduce yourself to the group? It's hard to visualize the enemy when you can't, well, visualize him. Jason is in second overall. Go ahead and introduce yourself too, Jason. Brad sits in third place. He's fumbling around for something inside his duffle bag and keeps asking "Am I wrong?" Jason and Troy, if you should find yourselves entering a world of pain in the next little while, don't say you weren't warned. The Impaler thinks you may have crossed over the proverbial line.

Full results and overall standings here. For the newcomers among us, the most recent race is always on the left. So read right to left. Consider it a tribute to Walter Sobchuck.

We are back at it again on Wednesday with Le Samyn.

Cyclocross Pool Final Standings

Before we get any standings for the Spring Classics Pool, we need to wrap up the 2011-12 FGBC CX Pool.

The J-Train managed to defy the odds and hold off a hard charging King Andy. He actually managed to gain some ground in Hasselt. Needless to say, he is very, very happy about this. The victory came at a good time too. He was running low on clean socks.



Andy finished second overall. He was 125 points back. I beat Chris O to take the final podium spot.

Terry won the race in Hasselt ahead of Jay and Hal.

Full results and overall standings here.

Thanks for playing everybody. That was fun. We'll have results for the first two races in the Classics Pool by the end of the day.

Spring Classics Pool Watch

[Update - 7:29 am] Five more teams have joined the pool. Welcome to Dan, Ali, Patrick, Randy, and Mike.

There is 30 minutes left to get in on the action.

The race is on! Live streaming options here.

With just nine hours left until the deadline, there are 28 teams in the pool. There is still plenty of room for more. Keep them coming.

Entries so far:

Chris H
Jonah
Marcus
Miriam
Andrea
Adam
Lyle
Steve
Troy
Andy
Val
Graham
Jason
KK
Peter
Kim
Matt
Jonny G
Eryn
Bill
Ian
JP
Chris O
Terry
Chris D
Brad
Ben
Joe
Dan
Ali
Patrick
Randy
Mike

Garage Sale madness!

Long time no garage sale, but tons of stuff - courtesy of Ian - just posted on the FGBCGS page.

Spring Classics Pool [Updated: Please Read]

Update: Yoan Offredo has just received a one year ban for failing to disclose his whereabouts with sufficient precision. He is out of the pool. Please replace him if you picked him. Also, Hayden Roulsten was mistakenly listed twice--in both tier 6 and tier 8. He belongs in tier 6. If you picked him as an 8, please correct that.

Teams are trickling in at a steady pace. I don't have the time or internet connection to look through all of them. But keep them coming. And continue to invite others. A couple of new folks have already joined. Everybody say hi to Ben and Joe from Harrisonburg, VA.

No rest for the awesome! The final race of 2011-12 FGBC CX Pool takes place later today. And the 2012 FGBC Spring Classics Pool is now open for business. That is very exciting. Not only does it mark the beginning of the real road racing season. It also includes a series of very, very awesome races in which we can vicariously participate. The first race of the season, Het Nieuwsbald, goes down this Saturday. Our friends at Parlour Coffee have invited us back to watch Paris-Roubaix together. The next couple of months will be fun.

In case you have forgotten, Prince Dan won last year’s edition of the pool. King Andy and the Finnish Funkmaster rounded out the podium.

If you are interested in playing, please read the following explanation very, very carefully. This year's pool features a few minor, but significant changes.

As in other years, the first task is to decide on an option on the basis of which to assemble your team. Riders have been divided into eight different tiers and teams are assembled by choosing riders to fill slots based on various groupings of tiers. But this year we have four options to choose from rather than the usual three. This is due, in part, to the fact Gilbert can pretty much win any of these races if he wants to. So he occupies the first tier all by himself. But since Cancellara is equally a threat to win all but the Ardennes races, he sits alone in the second tier. After that, the tiers are more generously populated, so you will have some decisions to make in choosing your riders. You can build around both Gilbert and Cancellara and their guaranteed haul of big points, if you like, but the rest of your team will be collectively weaker. There are two options for building a more well-rounded team. One of these is designed especially for those who prefer to limit the range of decision making as mcuh as possible. Option four allows you to narrow your focus to the fourth tier alone and pick nine riders from that one group. How straightforward is that?

Based on average points for the respective tiers, the four options are more or less equal. They should all add up to 5400 points, give or take 100 points. But that is based on projections which are in turn based on averages. In reality, it is safe to say that teams will be spread all over the map. Nevertheless, each of the options can potentially win this pool so long as you pick a few diamonds out of the rough or just get lucky.

The second significant change has to do with the Ardennes riders. In the past, these climbing specialists have been grouped into their own tier. This year, they are mixed together with others based on their projected points for the season. They still represent a separate group and your team must include at least one of them. But choosing them is now part of the task of navigating the various tiers more generally. And this year you are allowed to have as many as two Ardennes guys if you want a team that is geared more toward the races that end with uphill finishes.

To summarize, the rules are as follows:

1) Assemble a team of nine riders based on one of four possible options.

2) Each team must include at least one and no more than two Ardennes riders (the ones whose names are bolded in the rider list).

3) Any rider who is busted for a doping violation during the season is booted from your team and you lose all his points.

4) Submit your team here by Saturday morning at 8am CST. You must indicate which option you used in assembling your team. Failure to navigate the tiers properly may result in exclusion from the pool. The Dark Side’s Office of Low-Stakes Gambling is a busy place and we can’t guarantee that we will be able to check your team prior to the start of the season.

5) Entry is free and open to all. Please feel free to invite others to join.

6) The winner will receive a prize package consisting of a pair of FGBC socks and a six pack of fine Belgian beer. Unless he or she is one of my kids (or their peers), in which case the prize package will consist of the socks and a six pack of Italian soda.

For the rider list, the four team options, the point scoring system, and the races included in the season, click here.

Any questions? Drop a comment below and we will do our best to answer.

Notes on Wool Care

Just passing on a note from our friend at Cima Coppi on caring for your new wool jersey:

"1. Please follow the tagged care instructions. Hand wash cold. You probably will find you can wear the jerseys about 14 times before they need washing, cause wool doesn't get stinky like poly/synthetics. Use little soap. No need to scrub them. Lay flat to dry.

2. They will shrink a little if you wash by hand as was explained. If you put them in hot water or the dryer, they will shrink significantly, so you should not do this.

3. The backing paper around the stitching will soften and it's best left in unless it's bothersome. It can be torn out carefully at no harm to the jersey, unless you rip out stitches. If you're careful that won't happen.

4. Keep in mind, they are all handmade by me, so each jersey will be unique. Swap jerseys around until everyone is satisfied with their size (although there isn't much noticeable difference). All the sizes are marked on the neck tag, and the custom length ones are noted as well."

TNR...let's ride.

There is much to celebrate this evening. Fresh snow, double digits until the spring ride, beautiful black wool, and general super happy fun times.

The DL will be absent this evening. (The last time this happened we had a ricockulously fun ride.)

I suggest that we meet at the regular spot (the dark lord's front yard) at the regular time (NK drive club could bring bikes in a truck) and proceed from there into the woods and drifts and rivers and whatever.

Then off to the Klubhaus for Wool and re-hydration.

The Wool Is In!

Ladies and Gentleman. Thank you for your patience over the last few months. The wool arrived safe and sound at noon today and I have to say, the jerseys look AWESOME. I'm really happy with how they turned out and I know you will be too. Not sure what the TNR plan is, but perhaps we will have to arrange a pickup at the klubhouse? The box is big and heavy, so someone will have to help me transport them.

Perhaps if you are planning on coming out, leave a comment and we'll carry your jersey to the bar. Or if someone is driving, let me know and we can bring the whole box.

CX Pool Roundup

The J-Train is still leading. But just barely. He went into the weekend with a lead of 195 points over King Andy. Andy took back 120 of those points in Cauberg on Saturday. And he took back another 45 in Oostmalled on Sunday. With one more race to go this Wednesday, the lead is down to just 20 points. Andy has gotten the better of Jonah in each of the last four races. But Jonah has beaten Andy a couple of times recently too. So it really is up in the air. It all depends on who shows up. But the smart money is on Andy.

Full results and overall standings here.

In other vicarious racing news, the 2012 FGBC Spring Classics Pool is almost ready to go. We're just doing a bit of last minute haggling over the rider values here in the Dark Side's Dept. of Low Stakes Gambling. We've made a few changes on how riders will be selected. More info coming soon. The first race of the season is on Sataurday. So be prepared to submit teams by Friday evening. Details will be up by Wednesday, at the very latest.

Thursday Anticipation: Special Friday Edition

We have reached a very important milestone. The Spring Ride countdown is down to double digits. A mere 14 weeks from now we be celebrating our tenth anniversary.



The annual 24 hour race and film festival is just around an even closer corner. Normally we would do that this weekend. But we accepted a generous buyout package from Gianni so that he could have this weekend for Actif Epica. So we'll do our celebration of sloth and snow biking in a couple of weeks. There are some rumours going around the interwebs about the availability of a possible new venue for the weekend--one that would place us closer to single track and river riding options in and around Ass. Park. Hopefully we can get that question settled at the next TNR. Brad the Impaler thinks we should consider it. The Secretary, however, has been silent. Very silent. So much so that we are starting to wonder whether he and the President have finally become the same person. It was only a matter of time, really. In any case, since it is his place that is currently penciled in as the host site, it's really up to him to say whether this is worthy of any further consideration.



On the vicarious racing side, this is the last weekend of racing in Belgium. The season ends on Wednesday with the annual indoor race in Hasselt. Can the J-Train hold off King Andy? It looks like it is going to be very close either way.

Good luck to JP and everyone who's racing Actif Epica this weekend. Clearly this is not a race for the FGBC rank and file. The ratio of chips to miles was just too low for it to register on our collective radar screen. But we will nevertheless be watching with interest from a safe, warm, and chip rich distance.

The Sweetest Wool Jersey in the World has shipped

They should be here in time for next week's TNR. If all of a sudden they show up earlier, we may well have to organize a special gathering at the klubhaus.

TNR Report

The VP of Good Times came through. We raced. It was a stage race. The first stage was a handicap race from the TNR HQ to the Duck Pond, featuring as much singletrack as possible. We left 40 seconds apart from one another, based on an inversion of our usual order of finishing in cx races. This turned out to be perfect, as we all arrived at the Duck pond within a few seconds of one another. Except for the Cricket, whose lack of a light resulted in him taking a few too many wrong turns. The second stage has us racing a very short loop up and down the toboggan slide a couple of times. The Cricket exacted his revenge and won that stage pretty easily.

After Jonny G did some math and applied bonus points for the more hirsute among us, we ended up with the following results.



And yet somehow everyone ended up a winner. The Secretary brought prizes for all of us.



The mini chip buffet proved a fitting segue as the conversation turned to the one rather weighty agenda item. In the end, however, it was all very easy. The Spring Ride stays on the same weekend. And we are back to camping. The Accommodations Director will work on finding us a place to pitch our tents.

Graham brought the evening to a close by telling us just how much he loves us. It was kind of awkward. But at least it was tasty.



After 5 Nordic Cross races, the overall series standings look like this:

Chris 103
Mark 102
Jonny G 95
Graham 76
Vic 71
JP 68
Craig 66
Darryl 60
Lyle 51
Luke 46
Brad 28
KK 25
Penner 24
Andrea 18
Unger 16
Dave E 15
Brandon 14
Kelly 14
Tom 13
Daniel 12
Vanessa 11
Colin 9
Tomek 8
Bill 7

TNR [Updated]

There is a good chance we will be racing tonight. Nordic Cross #5. Yes, that would be a week earlier than it was originally scheduled. Deal with it. The Secretary, in particular, has put a lot of thought into this. We look forward to seeing what he's come up with.

9:30 pm at my place. Unless subsequent comments state otherwise.

[Update: 1:04 pm] At the klubhaus, there is one very important agenda item that will need some consideration. Some new shit has come to light. The Accommodations Director reports that the chalet is not available for the Spring Ride. It appears there are two options: (1) keep the weekend and find another location or (2) keep the location and find another weekend. Give it some thought and come prepared to state your case. Needless to say, this calls for an appearance from the President. This might be one of those situations where he just needs to make the call.

Fun with Google

The FGBC blog is like a neighbourhood bar--populated, for the most part, by a small group of regulars. From time to time, however, new folks wander into our virtual stomping grounds. Sometimes, those wanderings yield good fruit. For example, we are not exactly sure how the VP Style found us after he moved here from the Big Smoke, but we are sure glad he did.

Lately, we have had a number of new visitors to our humble strand of the vast interwebs. Usually, they find us via a Google search of one sort or another. And it is interesting to see how they find us. The Dark Side's Dept. of Pointless Research spent a little time looking into this phenomenon over the past few weeks. Here is what we found.

By far the most common Google search is "Tom Meeusen jump." Type it into Google and a link to the FGBC will show up on the first results page. Click on the link and you will be directed here.

Pretty straightforward stuff for a cycling blog that spends regular time paying attention to the pro cx circuit. But after that, it gets a little more interesting.

A close second, in order of popularity, is "nude cycling" or sometimes "nude cycling calender." Click on the link that search provides and you wind up here, no doubt more than a little underwhelmed by the result.

There's still a cycling term in that one. But sometimes even that is missing. It is at this point that things start to appear rather random. But arguably far more interesting.

Another very popular source of traffic to the Dark Side is a search for "red ass pics." It is not clear what the recent visitors from Brazil, India, and Redding, Connecticut were looking for when they typed that string of terms into Google. But this is what they found. Don't worry, it's safe for work.

A visitor from Madison, Wisconsin was looking for information on "inadvertent self-mutilation." Among other things, they found my haiku rendition of a far-too-close encounter with the former Omand's Creek pole.

Sophisticated search engine users will know that it is possible generate more specific search results by grouping terms in quotation marks, or even to string together a few such groupings. A recent visitor from Keyport, New Jersey did that with "Sandra Bullock" and "sexy nose" and ended up with this TNR Report from May 5, 2010. This is even more interesting in light of the fact that in our discussion the two search phrases had different referents. The "sexy nose" was mentioned in connection to Uma Thurman. And it was specifically contrasted with Sandra Bullock, who was described as possessing a more "straight ahead beauty." Too bad Ms. Bullock didn't leave a comment after she stumbled upon our website. We are curious to know what she thought of us.

Sandra Bullock isn't the only individual people were looking for when they found the Dark Side instead. Some came our way searching for the likes of "Brenda Schritt" and even Ice Bergen's daughter. While perhaps a bit strange, neither of those is entirely surprising. But someone from a molecular biology lab in Grenoble, France was looking for a certain "Thomas Springstein" and wound up looking at a photo of our own Cousin Thomas all kitted up in the sweetest jersey in the world. Another Google explorer was searching for information on "Ania Gonzalez." Who is Ania Gonzalez? We have no idea. But Daniel Ania Gonzalez is a guy who did even worse than the group of four Canadian CXers in Hoogerheide back in January of 2011. And for that we gave him a public word of thanks.

Interesting stuff. But not altogether surprising. In ten years worth of barrom chatter, you can cover a lot of ground.

CX Pool Roundup

Oh my. It looks like this is going to go right down to the wire. The J-Train padded his lead a bit on Saturday with a third place finish in Middelkerke. He gained 100 points on King Andy to push his lead back up to 465 points. But Andy put the pint-sized trash talker in his place and exacted some revenge on Sunday. He took back 135 points on Jonah in Heerlen and another 135 points at the GP Stad Eeklo. With just three more races to go, Andy is now just 195 points off of the overall lead. The way things are going, it may very well come down to the final race of the season--the annual indoor race in Hasselt.

The top three for each of the three races this weekend were as follows:

Middelkerke: Mike, Marcus, Jonah
Heerlen: Andrea, Miriam, Jay
GP Stad Eeklo: Andy, Chris H, Miriam

Full results and overall standings here.

For Jonny S. Rated 18A

Thursday Anticipation

Coming soon, it's hard to imagine a better collection of vicarious races:



Also, the real racing season starts next weekend with Gianni's 130 km ride through the barren snow-swept prairie. Will the Dark Side be represented?

Wool Update!

Great news everyone, the wool is finally out of customs and the sweetest wool jersey in the world is slated to be in the mail a week from today. Thank you for all being so patient, I know the wait will be well worth it.

TNR

Has anybody heard of this new hockey team called the Jets? They are playing tonight and I am planning to check them out. That means I will miss the ride. But Jonny G has a plan. Which he will communicate in the comments below.

Sweetest Jersey in the World

Some have suggested it is time to place another order. We have some new recruits set to join the Dark Side and they are eager to get themselves kitted up right. So if you are in need of a new jersey and/or shorts, drop a comment below. I believe all we need is five of each in order to make that happen.

Also, in case you're wondering, the wool jersey project is still in the works. The Hipster reports that they are close to being finished. But some new wool needed to complete the project is hung up at customs. So we're kind of in a holding pattern. They should be ready to ship soon though. Unless the whole thing was a ruse to get Mark the cash he needed to buy a new motorcycle.

And finally, let it be known that the Sweetest Skinsuit in the World is going to be a reality in time for next cx season. Project Unitard was officially launched a few weeks ago. It is still in the R&D phase at this point, so don't bother asking for photos just yet. It will take a little time, since we are going with a brand new design and not just the one-piece version of the Sweetest Kit in the World. We will supply some visual treats when the time is right. Don't worry, it will be very, very awesome.

CX Pool Roundup

The J-Train is apparently running out of gas. And King Andy is taking advantage, thanks to a couple of wins by Tom Meeusen this weekend. Andy won the GVA race in Lille on Saturday. He had 395 points. Jay and I tied for second place with 325 points each. Jonah had 215 points so conceded 180 points to the King of Vicarious Racing. He did a little better in Hoogstraten on Sunday, eking out a second place finish over Andy to take back 10 points in the overall race. Mike won that one with a 260 point day.

Jonah's overall lead is down to 365 points with two more weekends of racing to go. For the second year in a row, it looks like the final outcome of the FGBC CX Pool will go right down to the wire.

Full results and overall standings here.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, KK won the 2010 FGBC TdF Pool. He did NOT have Clenbutador on his team. So his victory remains untainted. Chris D, however, did benefit from some vicarious steroid enhancement. We trust he feels appropriately dirty about finishing second overall under such dubious circumstances.

Parkcross

No, the pro cx season isn't over. In fact, the men were back at it with Parkcross on Tuesday, just a couple of days after the world championships. Nys and Stybar weren't there. And Albert seems to have approached it more or less as a training ride. That was good news for the Vanthourenhout cousins, who took advantage of the opportunity to grab two of the top three spots.

Over in the 2011-12 FGBC CX Pool, it was a day for sharing. Andy and Jay shared the win. They had 125 points each. Andrea, Mike and I shared second place with 80 points apiece.

Jonah is not sharing the overall lead, however. He still has a cushion of 500+ points. Andy's second-place standing is starting to look pretty safe as well. But Chris O and I are currently sharing third overall. We both have 12,660 points.

Full results and overall standings here.

Barn Cross - a video report

Barn Cross
Barn Cross 2012 from dnb on Vimeo.

TNR Report

Last night was the fourth race in the nordic cross series. We kicked off the evening by meeting Lyle under the Maryland bridge, where he produced a pellet gun from his ski bag. The rules were simple - hit a paint can in one shot, get a 2-minute head start. In two shots - one minute. It turned out to be trickier than one might expect, and only Graham, Luke and Vic managed to hit the can.

After the shootout, everyone raced to four menno landmarks around the city, and ended up at Lyle's place where a bonfire, dogfest and wine awaited. Most people rolled in at the same time, but a few seemed to get lost on the way...

We had the good fortune of being joined by Colin and Tomek as well. It was Tomek's birthday, and he lit a birthday smoke much like mongo does in Blazing Saddles.

After warming up, the second half of the race started: a sprint to the club house with a concluding beer sprint, though we ensured there was no trickery involving unlocked bikes this time.

In the end, we averaged the finishing order from Lyle's place with the beer sprint results, added points bonuses for marksmanship, and Lyle applied a surprise penalty to those who left their lights on outside as a demonstration of bad form.

The final results were:

CommunionCat Results

Craig 25
Graham 22
Vic 20
JP 19
Chris 18
Luke 16
Jonny G 15
Brandon 14
Tom 13
Brad 12
Mark 11
Lyle 10
Colin 9
Tomek 8
Darryl 7


Overall Standings after 4 races

Chris 83
Mark 77
Jonny G 73
JP 68
Graham 61
Vic 52
Lyle 51
Craig 48
Darryl 48
Luke 46
KK 25
Andrea 18
Brad 17
Dave E 15
Brandon 14
Kelly 14
Tom 13
Daniel 12
Vanessa 11
Colin 9
Penner 8
Tomek 8
Bill 7