Monday, February 07, 2011

Pride Cross Report [Updated, with polemica]

[Update: 9:35 pm] Who doesn't love a little polemica every now and then? For some of us on the dark side, it makes our world go round. In any case, questions have been raised and bullshit called. How does Tom K stand there snapping photos for two laps and then finish ahead of those who passed him when he was actually on the bike? It does not add up. The commissaires have consulted. Tom K has been relegated. Whether due to pride or bad math, it does not matter. Math may be hard, but that does not mean you can just blow it off. Pride, meanwhile, is a mortal sin. Either way, it's bad. Very bad. This decision is final. The standings below have been corrected.

Forgive me Father Halberto, for I have sinned. And yet I am still trying to make sense of that gerrymandered confessional exercise you served up for us last night. Some of us were punished for having good memories. Or impeccable stylistic sensibilities. What has any of this to do with the sin of pride? Needless to say, I did not fare well in the pre-race "pride assessment." I think Graham and the Cricket were best off. They only had to do one pride penalty lap each. Some of us had to do three. And they were long. Almost as long as a lap of the course itself. And yet by the time we had finished dining on Halberto's delectable pizza, all was forgiven. Any time you want to feed us, just let us know. We will be happy to subject ourselves to your capricious will.


Tom K
Jonny G
Tom K

Overall standings after three races:

Chris 67
Craig 67
Jonny G 47
Ian 45
Graham 40
Brad 32
JP 19
Dave E 19
Tomek 19
KK 18
Hal 18
Darryl 15
Charlene 14
Tom K 0
Liam 0
Lindsay 0
Mark 0
Thomas 0
Vic 0

In case there is any doubt, let it be known that Graham is awesome:

The next installment of Nordic Cross 2011 is the Big One. Some call it Sloth Cross. Others refer to it as the 24 Hours of Clint. Either way, it is the social event of the season. And it is not to be missed. February 19-20 at the poosher's palace. Double points are up for grabs in this one. And some pretty sweet films as well. It all adds up to good times that are even better than usual.


Brad the Impaler said...

Yes Graham is awesome.

In true Nordic Cross fashion, the finishing order is up for debate. I am filing a complaint over the results, something is amiss there.

Sloth Cross 2012 is already penciled in as the 24 Hours of Bill F*ckin' Murray,

But 2013 really has to be the 24 Hours of The Dude.

juan eppstein said...

2013 isn't too far away to suggest additions to the list for The Dude. I recently watched The Men Who Stare at Goats again. Great movie - the Dude is definitely in his element.

Tom K said...

Quite right guys, I would place myself at the back of the pack and make my relegation punishment remedial math!

WV = "reerest"!!