Tuesday, February 06, 2007

rule clarification

It has occured to me over the past few days that we have neglected to articulate what may turn out to be the most important, all-defining rule of 'stache-cross:

The first rule of 'stache-cross is that you do not talk about 'stache-cross.
The second rule of 'stache cross is . . . well, you get the picture.

No self-effacing humour. No hiding behind the manouvre known as ironic distance. When you feel those eyes zeroing in on your upper lip, as if begging for a conversation, you cannot capitulate. Most importantly, you cannot chalk it up to a race or contest or some such nonsense. That is way too easy. In fact, I wonder if self-referential remarks about one's 'stache ought to be banished altogether. You've got to own that 'stache. Or better yet, learn to appreciate the possibility of the 'stache owning you. Choice has nothing to do with it. Voluntarism is a dead-end street. Like it or not, it's yours. It penetrates the very fabric of your being. This is an endurance race. Those incredulous stares that you receive--or think that you are receiving--are a crucial part of what has to be endured. This will be hard to enforce, no doubt. But consider it an opportunity.

Tyler Durden was right: Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

We would talk about this at the meeting tonight, only that would be against the rules.

OTT: Kym Brown, Pygmalion


Anonymous said...

dq me if you must, but I'm gonna flaunt the crap outa my bars!!!!

The Dark Lord said...

Flaunting is okay. In fact, it is recommended. It is disowning, disavowing, and distancing that is not allowed. You can't say, for example, "I'm not really a mustache guy, it's just for a bike race." That would be grounds for dq-ing someone. So flaunt away. If you can't flaunt it, you're hardly racing here.

Anonymous said...

splendid, off I go...